A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I deeply love my boyfriend. I've known him for 3 or so years, been dating for over one year, and am still head over heels for this guy. My heart still flutters when I see his text or call. There has been one hiccup in our relationship, but there was not fighting or arguing and, sadly, it was my fault. Unfortunately we are long distance but are always planning our next visit and if things continue to go well, I would be willing to make be with him in his country after I graduate college (and yes, my degree and career is just as needed and credible over here as it is over there).Obviously, in order for that to happen, we would have to get married. It's something we both have talked about. We both have a couple of years to make sure that's what we want.However, as much as I love him, I'm terrified of letting my guard down. Lately I have even been scared to daydream about him in fear that I'm getting my hopes up high and that this is too good to be true. I believe his sincerity and love for me and have seen it first hand, but I cannot help but to worry that he will find someone prettier, smarter, nicer, and closer to him in distance. A part of me wants to have an almost cynical take where I feel "if he ditches me, screw him!" but in reality, I'd be crushed.I would love to hear other people's advice and comments... is it normal for me to still have my guard up?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2014): These thoughts will become self fulling prophecies if your not careful. You've done good if you've made it 3 years thats no walk in the park. LDRs take trust. If you're still worried about the hiccup I'd bring it up. Or at least search your thoughts on why you don't think your not good enough. Relationships can ebb and flow. It helps you appreciate the good times with some bad times. How you deal with them is what separates you. As far as with letting your guard down its your call. If its an experience your after or if it makes you nervous what do you got to lose. I tend to believe love is a total understanding of another person. I think it helps fill in the pieces of who a person is. Vulnerability is powerful for both you and the person you share it with. Special connection. Just be honest with yourself and only do what your ready todo. Maybe even discuss the subject with letting your guard down or why it would be up? Good Luck!
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