A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I was just wondering, is it normal to feel you have nothing in common with your boyfriend, and feel like you have absolutely nothing to say to them?This is not a position I have been in before, and would like some opinions. Is this common? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): I don't think it is unusual to not have common interests. Sometimes it happens. But in order for your relationship to go anywhere or last you do need to have common interests. Otherwise you what do you do together or talk about. It becomes mostly a physical relationship. And it is unsatisfying when it isn't based in anything deeper. And how can it when you have no common ground? And you have to ask yourself--is this lust or love? How can it be love when it isn't grounded in a deeper connection?I think it is great to discover differences but if you have no common ground the constant differences eventually become tiresome.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2009): Relationships are not about common interests, its about personality match.
I have a friend who is a die hard Sox fan and a Wolverines fan and his wife is a die hard Yankees fan a Buckeyes fan. If you're not familiar with sports, these teams are the biggest rivals in all of sports. Their family can get a little crazy, but they are the happiest couples.
What I'm trying to illustrate is that even though you guys have nothing in common as long as both of you are happy, then that's all that matters. Strike a conversation that makes him, and yourself, comfortable.
Hope this finds you well and good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2009): it is sometimes the case that after a while couples suddenly find they have nothing in common really and nothing really to say to each other. these couples usually breakup and find someone better.
i suggest that is what you do. :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): No. It is not common, unless you have strictly a physical relationship.
You need to connect mentally for there to be any long term potential.
If you cannot communicate now while your relationship is fresh, wait until it gets tired.
I think you should look around for another mate.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): Ummm, how did he get to be your boyfriend if you have nothing to say to him?
I don't think this sounds normal or even enjoyable, that said you do not have to have a whole lot in common with your boyfriend to have a good relationship as far as interests are concerned.
It is important to share some common ground, some common goals and values. No one wants to date themselves so you both bring unique interests to the table.
It is pretty important that you share at least one common passion or interest though that you can do together, whether it be you taking up his hobby (as long as you enjoy it) or he taking up one of yours....you have to like doing at least one thing together other than the horizontal mambo.
Hope this helps.
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