A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I'm 18 and I feel as thought i'm not going to find a good guy to be with.I know you're probably thinking that i'm young and i shouldnt be worrying about boys right now because i should just be having fun with my friends and enjoying myself, but it's pretty hard to do that when im literally surrounded by people in relationships.I've never had a boyfriend before but i've had guys that I liked, who liked me back, but things didnt work out.To brief it up, the first guy I was seeing for about two months (unofficially) in June 2008, we were just dating to get to know each other and after a while he just stopped talking to me and I found out that he had gotten himself a girlfriend. I was then alone for a year until I met another guy in June 2009, again, we were dating (unofficially) for about a month and a half and I found out he also had a girlfriend, but he had one from the beginning.And now recently I met another guy in June 2010, and we have been seeing each other/getting to know each other for 3 months but lately things arent the same and he has a bestfriend that's a girl and i was doubtful at first but then I let it go, and it turns out he likes her, so now even though it hasnt been said, it's over between us two, because I really dont think I can handle getting hurt in the long run and he's always talking to her and about her but I didn't really think anything of it because he told me she was just a friend and I believed him...So now, here I am, single as always and I'm starting to think that theres nobody out there.. or atleast not for a long time.I have three very close friends, one of them has been with her boyfriend for 8 months, one of them recently just entered a relationship about a month ago and the other one is dating a guy and getting to know another.It just seems like everyone I know has a partner, or a potential partner, or someone interested in them and I feel extremely awkward when we all go out because my friends bring their boyfriends sometimes and I'm the one thats alone, so many a times, i dont end up going when i know theyre going to be inviting their partners.Now, I'm not being vain but I think im average looking. Brown eyes, 5'8, average build, long hair, the usual.. Many a times, people do compliment my hair, eyes, features, etc.. So honestly, I dont know what exactly i'm doing wrong, because it's not like im totally inexperienced, but the guys i seem to attract are the wrong ones.Is it normal to feel like this? because i know i'm young and i know i shouldnt be worrying about this, but i am, and its pretty upsetting sometimes.
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (7 September 2010):
 Yes!!! I felt this way all the way up to my marriage at 25. For some people it takes longer than others, some it may never happen, and those girls who have boyfriends it doesn't always last. Guys will come and go throughout your life, it's best to get a little dating experience under your belt and figure out what you really want in a boyfriend/future husband. Thats takes some to figure out too. I'll give you an outline...Meet a guy, wait for him to ask you out on the date, take about a month-month and a half to get to know him phase, which I also call dating. Now, set some boundaries on this date exclusively meaning you're not seeing anyone else and vice versa..take this time to get to know one another..take your time (there's no timeline on how long it takes to truly know a person). As you go along you will pick up on the red flags, how to tell your guy is lying and cheating...........It took me a long time to weed out the bad ones from the good ones, and some people just get lucky and find a great guy in high school or in college. You just have to put yourself out there. As long as your in the dating realm you're that much closer to finding the one you want to be with.
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