A
female
age
41-50,
*ammy
writes:My fiance and I are getting married in september and were both stressing and bickering over plans and money,is this normal?...please help x
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male
reader, Jamer70  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 Try and find me a wedding where the Couple didnt bicker at all. If you do youve either got a whiped/Doesnt care man, or the most agreeable couple ever
A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (18 June 2008):
Yes its totally normal. Its more worrying if you didnt! Weddings can be extremely stressful.
As long as you both love each other and know the most importance thing is being together. Arrangements are just an accessory, so dont let them come between you.
Try to compromise, e.g use choose flowers, he chooses cars etc. If its causing a big divide, perhaps ask a friend to step in and help with the planning.
Best wishes for your big day,
xxxx
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 Yes! It's normal! Don't panic. Planning a wedding is a hugely stressful operation and brings all kinds of things you have to decide on in a very short time period. There's what you want and have always dreamed of, there's what he wants and has spent the last two weeks thinking about (I doubt most men spend any time daydreaming about their wedding day) and then there are the parents' wishes and dreams and hopes for the most glorious of days.
It's enough to send anyone a bit loopy. So take some time off from the planning to remember why it is that you two are getting married in the first place. And cultivate your sense of humor. Because no matter how perfectly planned the entire event has been, how every detail has been sweated out and fought over and resolved, SOMETHING will go wrong. It always does.
It's easy to get swept up in the whole wedding industry. Pundits tell you that you simply must have the $150 cushion for the ring bearer, and wait, don't forget the favors for the guests! And no, you must ONLY use the finest paper and copperplate engraved wedding invitations. Do NOT get caught up in that. It's designed to part you from as much money as possible. Do not fall for it.
Pick the non-negotiables, choose your battles, let the rest go.
My husband and I focused on spending money on the food and the band. No favors. No one ever complained, at least to me. I get told that it was one of the most fun weddings people had ever been to. I didn't have a ring bearer or a cushion. We chose nice looking wedding stationery but not the FINEST, and unless someone was a real snob, I have not been derided at all for that choice. Many years on, I still remember having a great time. Even though the caterer dropped an entire case of beer on the stairs shortly before the guests arrived. Even though the caterer managed to lock the wedding cake in her van and had to break a window to get it out.
Step back. Take some time off from planning. Be realistic about the budget. Let some things go. Picture what you want the day to be like and then scale it back a bit. Focus on the joy and having fun and celebrating the union.
So stop panicking. You will have more fights, but you will survive them, as long as you keep my words of wisdom in mind.
Congratulations by the way!
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