A
female
age
30-35,
*issSamanthamary
writes:me and my friends we hang out in groups of couples and there are three of us . one of my friends tho happens to be my boyfriends ex girl friend. and the other day when we were leaving her house he hugged her and i jealous is that normal or am i just over reacting ? also it seems like he wants to hang out with her a lot like every time i get in his car hes like ohh lets go hang out with them at her house and it feels like we never spend anytime alone anymore ? should i actually be this worried or am i paranoid .?(they never had sex or anything when they were together they didnt even make out just a simple kiss so that makes me feel better but shes way prettier then me and im scared he wants her back even tho shes dating someone else )
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): YOU think shes prettier than you, i bet your boyfriend doesnt think she is though. It sounds to me that your boyfriend didnt love her at all and she didnt love him. They were just friends that dated for a while but there werent any major feelings there. So dont be jealous. Because there really doesnt sound as if theres anything to be jealous of. Work on any issues you have about your looks and give her a hug too when you see her. She sounds as if shes a nice girl and theres nothing between them to be afraid of x
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (22 February 2010):
 She's may be prettier, but that didn't stop them from breaking up. He's with you now, and he's introduced you to her, he has nothing to hide, because as you can see, they are not cheating or disrespecting you.
Of course jealousy is normal, many people get jealous when faced with someone from their partner's past. However, this doesn't mean that he has to stop seeing someone he classes as a good friend.
It's never a good idea to demand a man drop any of his friends for you. This becomes an ultimatum, "either it's your friends or me". A man who is a good friend would never discard his friends because somebody else demands it. However, there is no reason why you can't say casually, "sweetheart, I don't really wanna hang out with so and so and the gang. I feel like we never get time to be alone. I want it to just be you and me and not a crowd of people." That's a fair request. Ask him to spend more time alone with you, so you can be loving and intimate without other people around. This way you and him will see less of this girl, but you won't sound like a jealous woman who expects him to betray a good friendship.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 February 2010):
This is why getting involved with friend's ex's is never a good idea. Naturally you will be far more sensitive to everything he does with her. That said, it's a little worrying that he hugs her and wants to hand out at her house. I think you should tell him that you don't feel like you spend any time together anymore and see what happens. You need to spend more time together and see what happens.
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