A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been going out for 4 months and he's already talking about how he wants to be with me forever and how I'm the only one for him. We're both each other's first relationship and we're young (17), but I feel our relationship is genuine -- we trust each other a lot, we're in love, and we were friends beforehand. When we began dating, I was having trouble seeing him as a boyfriend and it took a while to adjust to that. Now I can't see him as anything but. I'm in love with him, I really am. When we began dating, I didn't expect it to feel this amazing and I wasn't even sure we'd be right for each other or if it'd last. Being with him now, I *love* the feeling. He makes me so happy, even when we fight.But when he begins this talk about forever, all I can think about is how young we are and how much can still change. I'm reluctant to believe it's a forever thing because I wonder all the time if he could truly be the one for me because how often is a person's first love a forever thing? Everyone says you just KNOW when someone is the one, and if you doubt it, then they're not. I'm just curious to know if he COULD be my 'the one' even when I've got all this wondering going on the side.Thanks :) Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009): I think that is sort of the whole point of dating is to find out if you are compatible and have similar goals and values in life.
The fact that you are both young means that your future with each other is a long way off, and you may out grow one another at some point because young people change a lot over a decade or so.
Your wondering about it is very normal and part of the fun of romance, the what will happen next that no one really knows for sure. And the whole bit about you just KNOW, it doesn't hit you like a ton of bricks.
What love really is, is a conscious decision to be a person worthy of love to put your partner's needs above your own. That decision is committment, without that and compassion, you do not really have true love.
When you make any decision, it is a process that you go through. Same with love and romance.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009): There is no such thing as 'The One'. He may be the person you end up spending your life with; he may not. Don't worry about it as there's nothing anyone can do to determine the future. Just enjoy your relationship as it is now.
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