A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was with my ex for 1.5 years, and along the way I met another guy. We started talking and to make a long story short, I dumped my ex for the new guy. I still loved my ex, but I was learning to letting him go.. but I was very much in love with my new guy and boy was I happy. We have been together a couple of months, even lived together and everything was fine. The only thing was that my ex kept showing jealous signs.. on msn, calling me at unreasonable hours, smsing and stuff.. and I should have cut off contact but I never did. I did let my ex fully go, but my new guy said I was too late. WTF? I didn't understand because we had it all.. we were happy and my ex was not a part of our lives anymore. Well.. he broke up with me 3 months ago and he moved out.I was devastated.. everything tumbled down.. didn't know what to do. In the past 3 months he started seeing someone else, but after them being 2 months together in an undercover relationship it ended. During these 3 months we grew apart or so I feel, but I never let him go. He didn't want a relationship with me and is too proud to admit his feelings, but he kept asking me to come over to his house. We did sleep together, but I must admit that it was not just for the sex, as there were nights dat we just cuddled and talked. Things would go fine one night and then the next day he would ignore me. Then a couple of days later he would again be nice and ask e over, and then again ignore me. I love him, but did not want to push it.He never presented that other girl to his parents and family, yet from the start he wanted them to know me. Does this mean anything?3 weeks ago he went on vacation, and he clearly missed me, because 3 days before he came back he wanted to see me (through webcam), he called me a couple of times, and the day he came back home he wanted me to come over right away. Things went so great, but then the next day again, he ignored me. He keeps sending me mixed signals.I talked to him through texts and he said that he is over me, that he does not miss me as much as he did before, and that there is no real chance of us getting back together because the feeling is not the same anymore. This hurt.. but I can't give up just yet. The reason for this is that even though he may SAY these things, I clearly FEEL he still has feelings for me inside, he is just afraid that my ex or any other guy may come back in my life or something.. but I have even cut off contact with him. You can say hurtful things, but your bodylanguage and eyes, kisses and hugs say a whole different language. Last time we talked we had a fight and now he ignores me, does not answer my texts or IM, yet he asks his sister about me.He said that I should have TOLD him in words that I was happy with him. I said that I never needed to, that my eyes, my actions, body and everything it was clear enough.. the whole world knew I was happy with him and in love.. he must have been blind. I already apologized for never saying in clear words that I was happy.I am deeply hurt, I love him very much, have never felt the same about anyone else and I really want a chance at this. He may say he does not want to be with me any more because things have changed, but I want a shot at this. Maybe the logical thing is to let it go and give up, but I keep thinkng that there still must be a way.Any advice or opinions?
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broke up, jealous, moved out, msn, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your good advices... I guess I'm just blinded by love to see that he does not feel anymore.. trying to keep thinking there is still hope.. when there probably is not :(
A
female
reader, laura585  +, writes (23 June 2009):
Maybe try to not bother him. Give him his space, etc. You've already apologized and told him you miss him, so now the ball is in his court. If he asks you to come over dont go, let him miss you too. If you're at his doorstep everytime he says the word then he doesnt really know what it'd be like without you in his life. Hang out with your friends, get yourself busy, and if he really does have feelings for you he will come around. AND if he doesnt have feelings for you then you will already be out making new friends, meeting new people and possibly finding someone who does care about you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): he is using you.sex when he wants it, and dont want to know when he has no need for you.dont waste your time.it is easy to give the "right" signals when you want something!
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