A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:This may be a stupid question, but is it normal for guys to look at porn even though they are dating someone?
View related questions:
porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2006): Society and the world do not always know what is best for a person or a family or a marriage when it comes to lowering it's standards to what is "acceptable" or "normal".
I agree that we all have free agency as it is a power and right for all; that liberty is still a valued and ungoing aspect of learning and living in this world-this life.
It is essential to everyone of this Earth. We all have this gift.
We are also accountable and responsible with how we excercise it.
We all have moral compasses and when we listen more and more to this moral centre; we can find without fault that listening to this "inner voice" -we were guided to make decisions that lead to peace,happiness,joy,comfort, security. We discovered we enjoyed positive consequences in making a good decision.
I believe people need to trust in that voice or compass as it is a part of who we are and that it is there to help us to find true, lasting happiness that will bring us peace, comfort, wisdom, and joy.
When we choose to ignore that "inner voice" or "gut instinct","moral compass","intuitiveness"...we have found we may have made a poor choice that had dire or negative consequences attached to that decision which brought us pain, sorrow, remorse, unrest-unhappiness.
What a perfect time to learn from a mistake.
This is the joy of life and it is necessary for all for true growth; for learning.
It is unfortunate that when one excercises their agency which brings pain and suffering to another and then ignores that this is a real effect, a true event- that it is brought on by making the choice and further more chooses to neglect the one they love's emotional needs and stops listening to them and stops being a loving, attentive, caring, responsive, accountable, giving individual that somewhere the WE aspect has become a ME -that is a cause for concern.
That selfish and base desires matter more than an individual they should still care for and still want to make happy has now become bothersome or intrusive is saddening.
How awful to be left feeling confused, hurt, angry, lost, and has you doubting in your moral compass.
Communication in these times is what is crucial and be able and willig to listen is paramount.
Please seek counselling as a couples counsellor will be there to help guide you on how to communicate effectively and how to listen effectively.
In the end, you have the power to choose if this is something you will deem acceptable or normal or something you find intolerable and will only bring you unhappiness.
*hugs*
Best Wishes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2006): I'd like to add:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ladies-tell-me-why-you-would-want-to.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-mastubates-over-page-3-and-its-really.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-do-married-men-look-at-porn-a.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/strippers-pornwhats-wrong-with-women-saying-that-we.html
...............................
A
female
reader, Ivanna22 +, writes (28 December 2006):
 i'm extremely good looking and my bf looked at porn and masturbated to women that were not nearly as pretty as me. Why is that? Can a guy answer me this?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): I believe that because the thought of pornography makes me feel sick, how can it possibly be right? The fact that we even have to bring up the question of "right or wrong", suggests that there is a problem. I am so deeply angered by the way these women are happy to portray themselves to men, and I feel violated myself. There's so much more I could say. Pornography is wrong. Our naked body is for the one we love and no-one else.
...............................
A
female
reader, (¯`·.·:Star_Dust:·.·´¯) +, writes (21 December 2006):
 Porn does not portray what a "real woman" is. MEN need to realize this.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): it's perfect normal, and wouldn't you rather he was jerking off to porn stars than fantasizing about women in his daily life?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): I suggest you do a searon on this site for the threads on Porn. There are three MASSIVE discussions on it. Here, let me link them for you...
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/want-to-share-some-research-on-the-effects.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-husband-says-i-make-him-feel-dirty.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-feel-ashamed-of-my-body-since-hes.html
Why don't you have a read through these and form your own opinion, and whether it is acceptable for you or not? 8]
...............................
A
female
reader, Ivanna22 +, writes (20 December 2006):
I don't agree with it. Our bfs will get pissed if they found out that we had pictures of other guys with huge penises and that we masturbate while looking at it and fantazise about these guys. Come on! How would you boys feel??
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2006): its only normal if your prepared to accept it as normal...if your happy to have a partner who has no repsect for you or women in general
...............................
A
female
reader, monkeylove +, writes (20 December 2006):
It is perfectly normal for men & women to masturbate. Men are visual people sexually. Women can use their minds to fantasize and pick up images in their heads. Men are stimulated by sight, so watching porn just helps it along. If you don't like him viewing other people than have him watch a tape of you two?? Or, why not watch with him and play along?? Just a thought.
...............................
A
female
reader, artistical_bumblebee +, writes (20 December 2006):
 yea its totally healthy porn allows them to expand there minds to what is out there i would not pay alot of attention to it it is nothing out of the ordinary
...............................
A
male
reader, I Waited For The One  +, writes (20 December 2006):
 yep it's normal. i love to know why but it is. take me my ex girlfriend wouldn't give it up every night (stupid reason) but i jerked myself to help her.
the girl's always think's it's wrong for a guy to jerk or look at porn whilie in a r-ship but it's the fact of life.
...............................
|
