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female
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anonymous
writes: Last september I ended up sitting next to the guy i had a crush on in my physics class. At first it was really difficult for us to talk to eachother as he's pretty girl shy and my social skills are generally pretty poor, but after a year we built up a relationship and everything became perfect and i had fallen in love with him. I know he really liked me too, and i was on the verge of asking him out or telling him i like him or making some kind of move. Then at the beginning of december I started getting friendly with a guy i'd met a few months before, and after a few flirty conversations i somehow ended up as his girlfriend. At the time i felt really bad, like i was cheating on both of them purely because the one i was in love with wasn't the one i was going out with. but as things progressed with my boyfriend and we got closer, i got further away from my love, and began falling in love with my boyfriend. a month later we broke up, and i was completely devestated. Everyone i know told me that now i'd broken up with my bf i could pick up where i left off with the first guy. of course it wasn't that simple. My bf had been the complete opposite to the other guy, as he was confident and cool and quite a lot older. the first guy just seemed so ordinary after that. our relationship seems to have gone back to square 1, and i no longer know what to say to him. i find myself talking to the guy who sits on the other side of me in lessons, who i have a great connection with but i only really like as a friend. I hate the way things are between me and him now. i don't think i'm even attracted to him anymore, and i feel guilty for toying with him. Is there anything i can do? I dunno what's actually going through his head. I don't have the self confidence to think that he could possibly feel hurt because he really liked me and i broke his heart, and any feelings that he did have for me are now pretty much gone (except sometimes when we do have a spark of what we used to have every now and then, and he gets that twinkle in his eyes). Maybe he just misses the attention? It would be great to hear from some guys about this especially, as obviously ur more likely to know what's going on in his head. thanks xx
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male
reader, tux  +, writes (29 March 2006):
 Yeah this is a tough situation. It's tough to say but he may have been hurt. even if you 2 werent together, if he liked you and sensed you liked him, you dating the other guy was more like a slap to the face. you failed to follow a major ideal when dating. Be with the one you love. You ended up in a relationship that forced you to love your bf rather than forming a relationship because you did. But that is in the past..
But if you still like him, just talk to him.. if you want to be more than friends i would tell him how you feel... tell him how you felt about him previously.. and how you feel now.. and apologize if you did hurt him emotionally.. but what you actually do is all up to how you feel about it.
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