A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Is it normal for men to have the same sex drive in their forties that they experienced in their twenties? I'm in my mid forties involved with a lovely woman who commented about my high sex drive and being very sexual, but not in a vulgar, pornographic way, but more along the lines of wanting to be sexually intimate lot; a lot of affection that always leads to sex. She doesn't complain or anything because I'm attentive to her needs, but we both noticed that after three years all we do for the most part is have sex.I think about sex a lot to a point that most of my past relationships are measured by how great the sex was, and not why we didn't move to the next step or bought a house together. Although I have flirtatious eyes and possess the gift of gab, I never talk about sex with women or act aggressive initially; on the contrary, they often make the moves, perhaps because they're wondering why I'm holding back and....wham! It's on.Will I ever get beyond this phase? It's a blessing and a curse.
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female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (31 July 2011):
 Hmm, I wonder if you afraid if you lock yourself into a marriage/solid commitment you would feel panicked if the sex died down. Flirting is fine, but if you are seeking out the "sex potential" while you are in a monagamous relationship..it becomes your drug of choice. You need that "high" of being sexually accepted.
It gets boring to seduce the same person over and over again...the high is not there?
Just a thought.
Yes! That's the reason I posted this question, because I find myself flirting with other women a lot, regardless how much great sex I get from my girlfriend. So yes, I am tempted but I don't act on it. I love the art of seduction and the fact that I still have this innate drive to seek out sex, but I don't do all that well in the commitment aspect from a settling down and getting married deal.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@anonymous Yes! That's the reason I posted this question, because I find myself flirting with other women a lot, regardless how much great sex I get from my girlfriend. So yes, I am tempted but I don't act on it. I love the art of seduction and the fact that I still have this innate drive to seek out sex, but I don't do all that well in the commitment aspect from a settling down and getting married deal.
I'm selfless and very attentive, not to mention hyper vigilant not to hurt my girlfriend's feelings, but I also like to be alone and value my space and desire to just reflect and dream away living in my own world/mind. I'm afraid to commit 100% because I know that passion comes and goes, and I would feel so guilty ending a marriage because of that. I can't make promises I can't keep. I guess I've been single and set in my ways for too long...that's it, right?
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (30 July 2011):
 physically it is very normal, make the most of it while you've still got it. but it sounds like you may have something wrong emotionally. look at your childhood and young life to find the roots of this, and address it if you are concerned
x
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (29 July 2011):
Sex drives come in ALL shapes and sizes. It is only normal to have one!
So, if your partner is ok with the level of affection you seek and give...what was the question again?
Will you ever get past the phase? The sexual phase in a relationship and want to move on to more? More commitment, marriage? Buying a home together?
Are you waiting for something else besides sex to happen that will make you want to get to that point?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2011): I believe it's normal. My guy is early 40's and he knocks my socks off reminiscent of my teenage days. Count yourself lucky!!! I have a question for you - do you think that your high drive makes you more susceptible to temptation?
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