A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend doesn't like me giving her oral sex and is really squeamish about it. I feel as if its because she has a problem with me. I've only gone down town once and that was for about a minute. I've never heard of a girl who didn't like oral sex. Is this normal?!!?
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male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (6 June 2008):
 Love it! Didn't use to like it so much when I was younger, but now it's my favourite!
The flesh down there is sweet and juicy, and you have free range from the love button at the top down to the gates of paradise down the bottom. It's wonderful to use your teeth and tongue and lips to suck and nibble and tease and lick and caress and knead. One moment you're like a rivulet running lightly over the surface, the next moment you're twisting and turning with a sinuous movement, the next moment you're teasing her with a firm but gentle touch, the next moment you take the whole lot firmly in your mouth -- ah, it's heavenly!
Sorry, got carried away there. It's quite wonderful, really. And you can tell she's loving it because she'll juice up so nicely. But it probably takes a while to really get into it. Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys, your advise is really great and confirms what I thought. She is a big girl and very self conscious about her weight. She doesn't exactly say she doesn't like it, she just stops me from going down there and closes her legs.
She is my first sexual partner, we have been dating for 2 months but known each other for 4 years. I don't think she feels comfortable around me when naked,but i don't know how to get round this.
Collaroy I understand what you mean about the frustration. It is immensely frustrating.
Oldfool - Do you really enjoy giving oral sex that much, or is it just the thought of being with a woman who doesn't want you to do it?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): It's just her different opinion, nobody says she has to like it. But my guess is that she's self-conscious.
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A
male
reader, oldfool +, writes (6 June 2008):
The first thing is to find out what the actual cause is. I'd say she's self-conscious about the odour. Since you've only done it very briefly, it doesn't sound like she finds the sensations too intense down there.
To try and get her to let you do it, I can only suggest:
* Try and convince her that you love the taste. I mean, really let her know how much a turn-on you find it. She may agree reluctantly at first, but if she learns to relax it may become easier.
* Try doing it only when you've had a shower beforehand. No morning oral sex, because that's probably when she feels worst about hygiene down there.
It all depends how important it is to you. For me, it's one of the most important parts of sex. I couldn't accept a partner who refused to let me do it.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (6 June 2008):
 Some women reportedly don't like it, although I have never met one of them.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (6 June 2008):
 Hi,
I actually had this same problem with an ex. She hated it because she was so self conscious she couldnt stand it when she was brought to ..( well you know - the point of no return shall we say)
so for her, giving herself entirely to her lover ( in this unfortunate case moi) would never happen - she just couldnt do it.
So I think it is a lot harder than simply talking it over, as we did talk but she would insist that there was nothing wrong, it became very frustrating.
But it was my first girlfriend and I really didnt know any better, so by the time I started to address the issue we had been going out for several years and it was too late, and moreover, it didnt help that her best friend also found it disgusting ( i overheard them talking, sheesh!!)
But you are in the early stages of the relationship, so as the other aunts say talk to her about it now, maybe reach some sort of compromise and hopefully as you get more comfortable with each other she will start to relax and you can have a fulfilling sexual relationship.
I hope you have more luck than I did mate as there is no greater plesure for a man than going down south.
good luck buddy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): I agree with Tremor. At first, it's really well... weird, even awkward. It's quite common among girls to be really self conscious about their private parts... especially because of the smell. I still fear that I may smell/taste awful, and it's been more than a year that I tried it for the first time with my bf. Also, the proximity to the anus sometimes makes me uncomfortable. Again, it's just weird to have someone's face down there. I fear he may be grossed out, although that's silly because he seems to love it. Try to be careful not to be too rough. Lick gently when she's very aroused.
Suggest oral, but don't pressure her. Talk about it with her and ask her what is it she doesn't like. Tell her not to be embarrassed, and to tel you what is it, that you only want to improve your "lover skills" for her, and so, you want to know her preferences. That you love her and want her to enjoy what you do. If she tells you that she's self conscious, reassure her and tell her to just relax. If she says she simply doesn't like it, respect her. If she says there's something you can change in your technique, don't take it personally, listen to her and be the best lover you can be.
Good luck, I think it's very good of you to take her pleasure into so much consideration, not all guys are like that.
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A
female
reader, Tremor +, writes (6 June 2008):
 There's no real way to define 'normal', /especially/ when it comes to sex. Everyone has their preferences, and some people just don't like certain things, whether it be kissing, being touched in certain places, or oral sex.
I highly doubt it's because she has a problem with you - if she had a problem with you, she wouldn't be your girlfriend, now, would she?
Perhaps ask her what it is about oral sex that makes her so squeamish - is it a new thing for her? I know that I personally was a little bit creeped out by it at first - there /is/ something quite daunting about having a lad's face 'down there' when you aren't used to it.
Or, as I said before, it could just be a preference on her part. Don't take it personally - there's pleanty of other activities to keep you busy if she doesn't like oral sex.
All the best! =)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): For many women, receiving oral sex is a very self-conscious thing, thanks to the many generations of "men" who have made 'fish' jokes at womens' expense. It may be that she is afraid you will think she smells bad there so she doesn't let you go near it. But you won't know why she's not comfortable with it unless and until you ask. And if you're not comfortable enough with her to ask, you probably shouldn't be sleeping together.
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A
male
reader, iamthesupreamegod +, writes (6 June 2008):
 im not sure if its normal... but i can understand why she may not like it. if she's not used to the stimulation in that way it could be far to intense for her to truely enjoy... what you may have to do to remedy this... that is if she gives you the chance... when you go "down town" as you put it... be gentle... don't concentrate on the clit until later in the process if it makes it that far... don't be afraid to pull away to let her calm down a bit. this can even heighten the experience for her. good luck
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