A
female
age
36-40,
*hristinaMaeMurphy
writes:This will be the second time that I have posted a question on this site, the last time was incredibly helpful for me! So here we go.Me and my husband have both just been discharged from the military, I was medically separated, he was honorably discharged... We have since moved to Dallas attempting to start our freshly civilian lives together. We have been married since Oct 2010, we have been together for a total of 3 years and some change. Every since I can remember, I have had an extremely high sex drive, my husband on the other hand has not... But we still have had sex atleast once a day since we began dating, that was until about January of this year when he, pretty much, suddenly stopped wanting to have really any type of sex, foreplay, or any and all that it entails. I am very diverse when it comes to matters of the "bedroom", I love to dress up for him, do role play, oral sex, anal sex, I will literally do anything and everything in the "bedroom" for him, I love to... I am a very physical person, love to be touched, love to be fondled, "loved on". I am very playful. And I love to touch him, love every inch of my husband. I am 5 ft 6 in, 120 lbs, slender, just had a breast job last year, I have a good body... My husband is about 20 lbs overweight, 5ft 9in, and not on the good looking side according to society. It's gotten to the point where he has sex with me, with what seems like, out of obligation instead of want or desire for me. He won't hardly french kiss me, touch my breasts, my butt, or any other "hot spots" for that matter... He just does the deed and rolls off of me, I'm starting to get really offended here. I have talked to him about it several times, he says it's not that he doesn't find me sexy or that he doesn't want to have foreplay or sex... It's just that he's not really into it anymore. I have come out to him while he was laying on our couch, taken his pants down to his knees, begin to give him oral sex, he becomes erect... But when I look up at him, he's staring blankly at the wall or trying to look over me to see the tv if I come at him in the bedroom while he's laying down... My husband is 28 years old, I'm 25... Is this normal? For a 28 year old man to lose interest in his wife after just 3 years? It sincerely hurts my feelings, I cry constantly about this, cry so hard that I get these extremely sharp pains in my chest. I lay on my couch every night after he goes to bed, I write my thoughts/pain on my iPad, and cry uncontrollably... It's seriously affecting me. So what should I do? What am I doing wrong? I am a good wife, I take fantastic care of my man in many aspects... What's wrong with me? I know he loves me, but why doesn't he love having sex with me anymore? Or even touching my body? Or get aroused when I touch his?
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acne, anal sex, breasts, discharge, foreplay, military, oral sex, overweight, sex drive Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (5 May 2012):
 I'm not so sure at all that my suggestion was helpful. I wish it was. But based on your posting, it still seems to me that there must be something else going on in your husband's mind, or in his life, that you may not be aware of. It is very difficult for anyone here to know anything based on postings - we can only make some suggestions. That's why I usually respond only to physical issues regarding sex - such as"how to do this or that sexually" - and I think that your issue regards the relationship.
A
female
reader, ChristinaMaeMurphy +, writes (5 May 2012):
ChristinaMaeMurphy is verified as being by the original poster of the question I felt so alone until these answers came along, thank y'all so much. Y'all have no idea how helpful your comments really are. Love to you both.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (30 April 2012):
Well this is more a relationship problem than a sex issue, in my opinion. But it is a combination of the two. I'll assert that no 28-year-old male should have any problem having sex with his wife unless there are serious medical issues, which may be doubtful here. Your openness and enthusiasm for sex is commendable, and yet he resists. Something else must be going on.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 April 2012):
 I don't think this has anything to do with you at all. He has lost his sex drive, this could be due to plenty of reasons, maybe he is stressed, maybe he is worrying about something. Whatever the reason is am sure it is not you. But you are feeling neglected and it is affecting you. You need to open up to him, ask him to go and visit a doctor to see why he has lost his libido. Tell him it is affecting you greatly and you cannot go on in a marriage where you feel like he is not attracted to you. Maybe go to some counselling together. He needs to take action and get to the root of my he has lost his sex drive.
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