A
female
age
41-50,
*rinPatterson
writes: My confidence has been in the toilet for like longer than I can remember and have ran from almost every relationship I have come across because I want to be settled in my own life and fairly happy before I enter into anything with anyone..does that make me..weird, bitchy, oh god like it matter but it does..so at the cross roads of career and sitting home for get this since October on TDI..just getting back into the work force..dif job..atmosphere..my confidence is really low and I am just so tired of going "not yet"..nope not "ready yet" but I dont think i can open myself up to anyone. not to mention my son decided to live with family after my divorce 3 years ago..so he does not live with me..he is a almost 17 and well I see him when he is not with friends and I call him every day and have for all that time..could have alot to do with my confidence and identy being in the toilet..so whats my question..when do huge life changes, financial changes ever make a person ok..does it take years to settle into a life..cause its been a few years for me and feel like its been one huge hurtle after another..and I am so used to it I dont think I know as of late what a routine and a normal relationship is..I just keep my good guy friends around and this way..I feel "safe" someowhat..but am afraid to start a relationship..why because I always seem to find men that no one lables it..and this way no promises need to be kept and I tell you when I was bartending...and busy working..I liked it that way..well getting sick really opened my eyes to my "relationships"..agh..I used to hate "lables"...and now I know why I always "put em"..unfortuantely I think sometimes they are needed..those "lines"..am I wrong here..or is it soooo necessary to set boundaries and catogories for male friends?..
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female
reader, ErinPatterson +, writes (20 April 2009):
ErinPatterson is verified as being by the original poster of the question
Thanks for the advice ladies. I have a dinner date with a friend tonight and think that I will have "the talk" about maybe labels that I hate having talks about but find that I cant be with anyone else because I am with him but not but..ya know its teh ok we have been seeing each other for 2 years consistantly and well..when I was working and school..I said lets leave it this casual because I didnt want to be labled as "a couple" ..he lives out of state so..it has been my "sig other" ...??...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): I have set boundaries with my husband, in writing. I might add some later on, but yeah, I think that boundaries are important.
If you feel uncomfortable with them or other people do, maybe it is because when they were growing up boundaries that should've been there weren't there or were violated.
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A
female
reader, koolkat +, writes (20 April 2009):
your should be happy you have bounderies, it makes you more attractive!!!!guys like girls with bounderies!!! Keep those bounderies, don't be afraid to let them show, it just makes you a better person.... and if you can't find that right man pray god well bring him to you believe me!!!!!!!!!!:)
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