A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, Please, help me! My cousin, 'Carrie' ,and her ex, 'Jake', started dating because I told Carrie that I thought Jake liked her -- which was true. I did think he liked her, but Jake didn't like Carrie -- he liked me! Yes they broke up, and strangely, Jake and I started dating afterwards. The truth is, Cupid, that I knew Jake longer than Carrie did (for three yrs. now) and liked him all the while. But when Carrie came along I totally lost confidence in the idea that Jake and I could ever be together. So I read some hints wrong and thought Jake liked Carrie. Carrie completely fell for him afterwards, and, unbegrugdingly, I helped them get together. So, what do I do now that Jake and Carrie are broken up, yet Jake and I are now dating? Is it my fault for letting Carrie's heart get broken? She did actually encourage me to date Jake, but now it feels like she only wanted to appear un-hurt by it all. I know later she will tell her side of the family how it is all MY fault and how I betrayed her. Now I feel hurt and confused... Please, help me, Cupid -- And tell it like it is... :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much cindy!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 October 2011):
 Read "Emma " by Jane Austen, it's exactly the same story set two centuries ago !
Which means : 1) match making is rarely a good idea, too many things may go wrong.
2) hey these things happen, it's not the end of the world.
Your intentions were good, you honestly thought Jake preferred Carrie, ... and she probably chose to believe it without more solid evidence than your word, because she liked the idea. You did not set out to break her heart on purpose.
Of course now she is disappointed and maybe hurt , and of course she is just putting up a brave front- that's to be expected for the time being. But if you two are really good and close friends, she will understand it was a misunderstanding in good faith, and you ( hopefully ! ) did nothing either to push Jake on her, or to steal him away from her.
Some will say that according to " girls code " you were NOT supposed to get together with your friend's ex at all, and maybe they have a point. But I am not sure we can or should apply girls code so strictly at 16, an age where passions and alliances are very intense... and very short-lived and ever-changing.
Anyway, just in case, why don't you two have a nice heart -to- heart to clear the air ? maybe it's better having to say, or to hear , something unpleasant, than leaving all unsaid and holding mutual resentments.
...............................
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