A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll try to cut this down to as small as i can. I have a girlfriend of 4 and a half months. Shes 15, same as me, and she is bisexual. She has hooked up with 4 different girls before in the past two years. One of them though meant a lot to her, and she tells me she 'discovered who they really were' together. They only saw each other i think four times whilst they were friends due to distance and parents, but they spoke regularly. Just the jist is they were very close. In january this year, that girl moved to melbourne, and because they never got to see each other, they saw each other for the last time. Prior to this, my girlfriend asked me if i would mind if she hooked up with her for the last time, because it would feel weird if she didn't. I felt at the time like i should let her, but i just couldnt. I told her i wouldn't like it, and it would effect me emotionally. A month before that, she went away on holiday for 10 days. On her final day at the resort, my family went to the same resort just by coincidence. I found out though from some friends there, that she had feelings for one of the guys she met there and wanted to "do stuff with him". This tore me apart for the rest of the trip. I got home and spoke to her about it, but she assured me it was just lust and she didnt have any really feelings for me, and really loved me the most.We get in fights, and it is always about things like this. Eg: her not taking the relationship seriously, her not being dedicated, the views I have on what she can and cant do with girls whilst going out with me etc. Shes let me know that she wouldnt have any problem hooking up with girls at parties, say playing spin the bottle or something, but for some reason i do, and she cant just see it my way.I know i get very jealous very easily, say when she talks to other guys on msn and it seems as if shes neglecting me. Or like this afternoon, i ask her what shes doing, and she says "sorry one second, im helping dave with something and im looking at my vagina to help him". Things like this annoy me a lot, and it doesnt seem like i can control them.Any help? Should i feel the way i do about her and girls? Is it me with the problem, or is it her not taking our relationship seriously? Sorry for the length of this, i had to get it out =(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Smiffy  +, writes (22 April 2008):
 To be honest I feel that when you are both old enough to enjoy making love / sex you will be so sexed out you wont be bothered....
Yes, she has no real ambition at this stage to be true to one person....this in time she will regret...open relationships especially at your ages dont work...
I would say its all to do with experimentation on her part...why dont you find a GF for you?...and you alone...this girl it seems, is on a road to sexual disaster....the next thing is she will be pregnant....!!!
Good luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): Thanks for your answer, i appreciate it. I forgot to include that she didn't hook up with the girl who moved to melbourne when they last saw each other, she didnt do anything with the guy on holiday, and when she hooked up with the three others, we weren't in a relationship.
Even though she doesn't do it, she wants to, and she pretty much thinks my opinion on it all is crap.
I've got another question. She keeps asking me questions about what I would do if she did something. Eg: 'What would you do if at a party i hooked up with a girl?' I dont like answering these questions, because i personally think she is just asking me these to see how far she can push things before i break up with her. Is that right of me or not?
And now that you know she hasnt done anything, does your opinion change?
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (22 April 2008):
To be honest, I think you have every right to be jealous.
This girl has got off with other people. Boy or girl, that is still cheating.
She wants an open relationship (where you both go off with other people for fun) but she didn't talk to you about if that would be ok, she just went and did it.
I know people who are in open relationships that work but they are very very rare. I couldn't stand it!
Sit her down and tell her that you can't go on like this. That she either commits to you or you split up. It's not fair on either of you to want completely different things from this.
If she says she needs her freedom or tries to pull the whole "but I'm bi so it's not cheating" thing, tell her she's prejudiced and walk away. Bi-sexual people are perfectly capable of having a real relationship with one person. It's people like your gf who give them a bad name.
Good Luck!! xx
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