A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was raised by my dad, over the years, my dad has been married 5 times but I am an only child for now. My dad is a great loving dad and I know he loves me a lot and I love him so much too but in and out I always have a new ever-changing mummy or some woman who always wants to be my mummy. My dad is very good looking and very successful, my friends and even my teachers are all crazy about my dad. He is my dad, mine but there’s always a new woman wanting to hang around. Sometimes I just want to spend some time with my dad and not have his wives or his girlfriends in the picture. I know those women make an effort for me to like them, sometimes they are not bad especially my 3rd stepmum. But with so many women around, I feel very jealous but I know I have no right to tell my dad what to do. I told my dad before that I don’t like it that he keeps on getting married and he tried to explain the shit about a man and a woman crap and he is still getting married again, it’s like every year I have a new mummy, ppl make fun of me cos 2008, new mum again. Every each time he really seems to be in love but always things fall apart after a while. I never told my dad but actually I have been afraid that when I grow older my dad would stop loving me like those women in his life who is always changing. I think what I am most afraid of is coming true. My dad is gonna marry for the 6th time in May, this new shit, I don’t like her at all, she’s young in her 20’s, dad is in his early 40’s and this bitch acts like she owns my house, my dad, my dogs and me. She wants to discipline me and act like my mum, my dad seems to like this one a lot but they are always fighting, she even hurt my dad in one fight and my dad was bleeding so I kicked her and hit her but my dad grabbed me and asked me to stop cos this bitch is pregnant. I am very angry and I told my dad if he marries this one I will run away, I don’t really want to run away cos I dunno where to go but I do have a lot of money in cash. I think I can take care of myself for a while even if I ran off cos I guess he will cancel the wedding if I took off. I really don’t like her and she’s sick, she makes out with my dad in front of me purposely showing off, seriously cos she gave me that look with her eyes, she’s crazy! Also she’s a flirt and full of herself, she is seeing someone else, cheating on my dad, I followed her before and saw her with another man and I told my dad but she cleared it up with a big fight with my dad. My dad told me to not talk about it again but I am really angry cos my dad won’t believe me, he thinks I am just jealous and keeps on assuring me that he will always love me blah blah blahMy dad told me that I am going to have ‘a new mummy and a new brother to play with’, my dad is also another one, he thinks I can’t grow up and treats me like a child, patronizing me with his sweet talk about a new happy family crap. Bull! It’s not the first time he talks that way besides how can he be sure the baby in that bitch is his, I told him that and he got very angry again. I overheard him talking on the phone, he is really excited that he is going to have a son, I guess he always wished I was a boy and I am not, I started crying and I am still crying, I think he wants this bitch with his new ‘son’ now and I am exactly like all his ex wives, a burden that he wants to divorce and get out of his life. I want to find my real mum but she is staying in Europe and I called my 3rd stepmum but she has remarried and I think she still hates my dad, probably might also hate me too. What should I do? I do love my dad a lot and I want him to be happy but I don’t trust him when it comes to women, there’s just too many and just face it my dad is not really that faithful anyway and it’s not my dad’s fault completely I mean they are the ones who wants him and this new bitch just don’t deserve my dad. If I want to run away where is safe? I am scared someone might catch me or rape me. Also I want to take my dogs with me, the bitch kicked one of my dog! My dad bought me a car but where to go? I mean with this bitch since she is pregnant, I don’t think things can solved so easily cos I don’t think my dad will get rid of this one that fast, oh god, what should I do???
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divorce, flirt, his ex, jealous, money, my teacher, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): the best thing to do is go to uni/college or travel with your friend and live your life becuse your dad is not always going to be there for you. isnt there any
social service in the us like we have in the uk, they may able to help you
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI didn't run away, it was a childish and irresponsible thought, well I don't want to add more headaches for my dad plus I really dunno where to go hehehe thank you all so much for listening and helping, thank you so much cos I've finally had a real long talk with dad, things are not solved but I feel better now. I am sorry I never wanted to think of running away but I was so angry because I was just so tired with everything around me repeating again and again, and so I explained everything to dad. I told dad bout the stability thing cos I told him it's not fair and I never had any stability except for him to change women all the time, we really had a real long talk and he also realised that I am no longer little and all his actions has left a real effect on me like I have many boyfriends too and I don't really love them too (that I didn't tell my dad) and he promised me that he will work on having 'our time', that's all that I ever wanted, talk and spend time with my dad, we planted a tree together and I really had fun, I will not even think of running away anymore, I love my dad too much and yah he loves me too more than any woman he said hahaha but I still am that stubborn (got it from my dad) when it comes to my soon to be yuck 'new mum', I told my dad she was mean to me and she pulled my hair and yelled at me and said those things to me, she's so childish, and she kicked my dog and my dad said he will make sure it won't happen again, he was real pissed, good cos she likes to pretend to be nice to me in front of him! Also dad agrees bout the paternal test thing when the baby is born, I just don't trust her, how could I trust someone who don't like dogs and animals and who has that hateful look staring at me and when she kicked my dog and when she squashed insects like mad? She's not a good person, I can feel it. I just don't get it, what does my dad see in her? But whatever, it's my dad's life right, he's like that, well if he's happy, it's ok with me cos since I'm my dad's stability then I will make sure I will always be there for him. But thank you again to all who answered me, I am okay now (smilling), I will go the wedding if that happens and be nice for my dad not her! Thanks again!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 April 2008):
 Hi, I just saw this question and answers and I want to let you know that I'm here for you if you want to send me a private message.
It sounds like there's a lot of upset and worry in your life right now and I'm sorry for that. I have to say that Wizard and Susan have given some really good advice to you... Don't you think so too?
So before you plan something really drastic, why not let us help you think things through a little bit more?
Okay? I'm here if you need me and so are Wizard and Susan, I'm sure. Don't panic!!!
Talk to you soon,
Aunt Tisha
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict  +, writes (22 April 2008):
 No, absolutely not. If you run away then you'll end up in a worse mess than before. Yes, I'm sure your dad loves you, but the more you make it difficult for him to do what he wants to do, the more he's going to find it difficult to go on loving you. You need his respect as well as his love. You're not a baby. You're not going to gain that by running away and making his life difficult - quite apart from running serious risks yourself by leaving home at your age.
If this woman he's going to marry is as bad as you think she is, then he'll find out sooner or later - and that will probably be sooner rather than later. And if she's not actually that bad, then that's something YOU will find out sooner or later. You have to accept that it's not only about what you want; it's about what he wants too, and if he has made a mistake (another mistake?) then that's something he will find out. You aren't going to change his mind by trying to make yourself the centre of attention. Step back; chill out; act responsible - even if you're absolutely sure he's not acting responsibly or in his own real interests with this woman. He's your dad - so be a real daughter and support him. Just let him know that you think he has got it wrong but you'll try your best not to be difficult about it. Show him you love him and respect him. It works both ways.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou mean I am the only stability to my dad? So if I run away, my dad will surely go crazy right? I mean he will want to find me and forget about his wedding right? My dad will find me right, he won't not look for me right? I am scared running away because I dunno where to go but if I could stop my dad and maybe strike a deal with him that he will only spend more time with me and not other women after he finds me, you know. The wedding is near, I can't bare the sight of her anymore, i don't want to be her 'sister' or step daughter. She's mean to me but she acts like she cares for me in front of my dad, when my dad is not home, she will ignore me and then yell at me telling me what to do. She pulled my hair and then kicked my dog, I don't like her even after she said sorry but she don't told me that I won't be the princess anymore cos my dad will love the new baby more than me. My dad loves me right? I mean he will look for me right? I have a place that I think I can go to but is it a crime to run away? Will the police catch my dad? I mean I dunno how it works and nobody wanna help me run away but I know how to drive. My dad will look for me right?
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (22 April 2008):
Running away is NOT the answer. It's always difficult to cope with a new "mother" when she's not your real mother, and as you say your dad isn't making it any easier for you when he is clearly having great trouble finding a relationship that lasts. You obviously love your dad, and that's good: it's something that you need to try and cling onto above everything else.If you can help him rather than be confrontational, you might be able to move forward. If he has made up his mind, you're not going to stop him marrying this woman, so your only real option is to see what you can do to change her attitude towards you. Of course, if she is really abusive to you - hits you or ANYTHING like that then first you need to tell your dad and second, if that doesn't get you anywhere, find one of your teachers that you can talk to. BUT my guess would be that it's not going to be nearly as bad as you think it is. She's pregnant, you say? Great! You're going to have a little brother or sister. That's wonderful, and showing your love for your new brother/sister will be all that's needed to bring your familiy together.Also, and this may be the key to getting it right, this new woman of your dad's is young and relatively inexperienced in relationships - you say she's only in her twenties. She probably has more in common with you than you imagine. Be her friend, not her antagonistic stepdaughter.
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