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female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I feel like I'm doing something wrong by seeing my best friend's brother behind her back, but I don't know what to do as I don't want to lose her friendship.I've known my best friend since we were 8, we do everything together, or did until last year when she moved to Spain for the summer. During that 6 months, I ended up hanging out with her brother a few times and we ended up becoming quite friendly. Nothing happened between us until May this year. My boyfriend (her brother) went to a sporting event, with a group of friends. She wasn't interested in going so she didn't come. While we were away for the weekend, because we were the only two not in a relationship, we said we would have the double room. We didn't sleep together but we talked all night. We were drunk after the sporting event but it was strange because I've never looked at him like that until that weekend. We ended up texting and that and went for a meal together shortly afterwards. We agreed because of his sister, my best friend to not tell anyone and just go with the flow.But now she is starting to noticed that I'm with someone and I don't know what to say to her and my boyfriend doesn't think it will cause a fuss but I'm scared she will hate us because I'm her best friend and he is her only sibling! I don't want to upset her!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 July 2016):
 I am marrying one of my friends brothers, the thing with that though was I was honest about it, trying to hide it and lying to her, well that is your mistake, if she can't trust you now it is because you have been lying to her, your boyfriend is right it should not be a big deal, so just be honest with her and tell her the truth. Why would she not be happy for you both?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2016): I'm not exactly sure why your friend would be upset about you dating her brother? I think you are adding fuel to the fire by keeping such a secret from her. That she would have to find out about it by accident; then there goes trust out the window. I think that would upset her more than you dating her brother. If she cherishes you so much, as to consider you her very best friend; why wouldn't you be good enough to date her brother? Unless he's married, or has a girlfriend already.
Perhaps you both are just enjoying the thrill of secrecy. Sharing a covert romance and keeping it under wraps. It's one thing to date your best friend's ex; another just to date her brother.
Confess and avoid a spat!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 July 2016):
 You should be honest with your friend.
I actually set my brother up with one of my good friends, who had a major crush on him... Well, they have been together for over 25 years... So it doesn't HAVE to end bad.
If you have to keep a relationship a secret, it's not going to last, because these things come out and your BFF will be WAY more hurt that you didn't tell her, than she will that you are dating.
Either be mature about it and tell her - which means accept whatever consequences.. Or hide it and suffer whatever consequences that will mean too.
I vote for the first. Because no one should have to hide a relationship, not hide such a thing from your BFF.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (7 July 2016):
 "behind her back" - there's your problem. You're not respecting her and you're not being much of a best friend by lying to her.
Come clean asap, or you really will lose her.
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