A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is it me, or is she getting worse?I'm the 15 year old boy who wrote a post recently about his girlfriend's behavior. To read the past question, please click the link at the end of this post.Yesterday we had a fight, again. First we were joking and everythng was fine but then she took something personal and became so very cold with me. I did the exact same thing as in response to how she was acting with me. I'm tired of her always taking jokes personally, in fact, I wasn't even making fun of her!I feel like she as a very childish way of thinking and I think it's time she put a little effort in our relationship. Anyways, after we echanged "cold talk" to each other, I finlly said "ok, let's stop all of this, I don't want to have a fight for such a reason." Guess what she replies...Yes, you guessed right, she said I don't care! I really got pissed. I said "that's really mature of you, she replied "you were better" with a little heart. I went offline (this conversation was on windows live messenger [msn])furious about what just had happened.Since yesterday night, I haven't talked to her and I'm planing on leaving it that way for a while. Tonight, on msn, her nickname is suddenly kind of "sad". Here it is: ". honestly, i won't get to sleep tonight." And her personal message is "i feel HURT, can we talk baby? can't we make this right? i need you tonight..". But still, when I come online she doesn't talk to me, as if she is waiting for me to talk to her. Of course, that won't happen. I thought I was being more mature by alwas starting the conversation when we had fights but now, I realised I was only being stupid. I guess if I don't talk to her it'll stay that way for a very long time and school is starting in two days. She's in all my classes, how can I avoid her? To be honest, it's hard or me enough to avoid her on msn.For the people who answered the previous post, some of you thought that I would have to come clan and tell her how I feel. That's a bit hard, because as I exlained in the previous post: she always acts careless. For example, once I told her that I don't feel that she loves me, she replied "oh, sorry" and stayed silent and very cold with me. So basically, it's no use. One other thing, I don't even think she'll change the way she behaves with me...What should I do? My girlfriend is sad, and even though she treats me this way, I love her...Here's the link: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/whenever-we-fight-im-always-the-one-that.html
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey guys, I've written a new post, here is the link:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-does-she-do-this-why-after-being.html
A
female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (2 September 2008):
 Anonymous poster, I'm incredibly flattered by your kind words. Specially coming from such a man. I remember I once babysat a kid like you, I'm not lying to you, but he was the best kid I ever babysat. He was 11.
I'm so glad I was some help to you. I've given you enough, but I would love it if you keep updated.
Now, I just hope you keep on being strong. I seriously can imagine your pain... I really do. And it's SO UNFAIR that it's happening to you because you're so mature for all of this.
Now, the only reason I know how to deal with this is because I dealt it younger. Girls at your age are so immature (why else would so many have sex?) and most of them get what they want. Now, it's a guess, but did she get in and out of relationships equally? And did she talk to you often about them? Did she bragg about stuff she did with them but you were always her "rock"?
My friend had a girlfried like that. It was so hard to look at him because he was SO miserable. You could tell by looking at him, specially his eyes, that there was a lot of anger, sadness, and anguish. His girlfriend treated him the same way yours does to you and worse, she cheated on him frequently. What's worse is that... he loved her. He couldn't help it. We kept on telling him to abandon her and he couldn't, he was too afixated. At the end, he did. He ended up hating her (I wanted to tell him to not hate her, but I knew she hurt him too much and it was his decision to make) and he ended up more scarred than ever. He had his friends to support him, which I think it has helped him recover.
Now, I don't think you will end up as bad as my friend because you're actually listening and doing stuff. But you know, I don't blame him for not doing anything and I won't blame you if you don't. Just be aware that you might end up like him, so please take precautions.
Ps: Please keep us updated. I would like to know what happened.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your support Psycookie, I think you are very wise and know what you are talking about. You're right, she's not sad, she's only angry she lost control over me. I should have thought of it before, it's so clear! Today she came online again but this time hasn't written anything but her name, I know what she's trying to say, I've already gone through this a hundred times.Tomorrow school is starting, I'm not going to talk to her and I'm going to act naturally. Even though it's going to be hard, I'm going to do it. Because my relationship with hr means a lot to me and I would do whatever it takes to make it right or find a solution to this. Right now her friend is talking to me, I'm sure she's going to ask me to talk to her but I won't, she's trying to get to the subject but I'm avoiding it...actually I'll stop avoiding it and tell her I won't talk to her! Because that means she won't talk to me but she sends her friend? Haha, no way. This is hilarious isn't it? It keeps getting worse and worse.
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (1 September 2008):
I answered your first question, so I know what's going on with you.
Well, in my honest opinion, I don't think she's sad. She's mad, because she has lost her power. You see, she has control over you. You come up to her to talk, or else she wont. You say "hi" first, or else she won't. She blames you for everything and doesn't take any falls. But now that you didn't give her that satisfaction, she is doesn't like it... and will try to do a lot to get it back.
It's all a tactic to make you come back to her hands. She says that she wants to talk to you, but why doesn't she just do it? Sorry, she's a liar. She MAY think she's sad, but in reality she's sad she lost the power over you.
But I'm incredibly glad you have resisted the temptation of talking to her and PLEASE keep doing that.
I actually think you're one of the most mature kids (underage) people I've met, and your words are so believable. I find it more incredible that after she has done this you haven't fallen for it, so congrats.
As for the classes, just ignore her. I understand this will be so hard since you actually love her, but you know... you don't deserve her treatment...nobody does.
If she doesn't change, then too bad for her because she has lost an incredible man in her life.
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