A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, I have a problem choosing the right guys. I have lots of guys I flirt with around me, and they flirt back. I got a guy texting me for over a year now, but he's too shy or whatever to really ask me out. This other guy I met at a club went out with me three times, we had a great time and he would call me for hours, and after a week or so he called and told me that he 'liked me a lot at the moment' but wasn't sure if he could 'fall in love with' me so we should just be friends. Another guy has a girlfriend, but he goes on what can only be called 'dates' with me.As of this moment, I'm just so sick of guys. I mean, am I doing something wrong? Did I just happen to meet all the wrong guys?After all these years(i'm 21) of dating, I've never had a long-term relationship. I've gone out on tons of dates, but the longest relationship I had was... I think about a month. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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flirt, has a girlfriend, shy, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010): What most girls fail to realize is that just letting guys hit on you IS part of the decisionmaking process. You're deciding you only want a guy who is liable to me hitting on girls and you're less interested in a guy that does not do it as much. That's making a large cut right there. If there are 100 guys in a room, you won't meet 100 of the equally. The most flirtatious ones of them will hit on you WAY more than the choosier guys who want a serious relatiomnship. The serious guys might represent 50 out of the 100, but you will come away from the party thinking they were mostly flirty players.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 April 2010):
I think it's a mixture of you meeting the wrong men, and looking to hard. You can go out on too many dates and get to the point where you aren't picky about these men as much as you should be. Stop dating for now, and really look at the type of guy you like. Slowly meet guys again, but don't date so many. Be picky. I think you're picking so many dates you don't know what you're looking for.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 April 2010):
 Nothing wrong with you. But in my experience, what you need is "chemistry". Thats the instant connection you feel with someone else, the flirting, the eye contact, the endless desire to see each other. It's usually easy to spot if it's mutual. When you find that chemistry with a guy, that is when you can start building up a relationship. Building up a relationship with a guy you had a few dates with seems weird to me. Really. Im not a "date" type of girl. I met my ex's and boyfriend on other fields, through work, parties, friendships etc. I never had "dates" with them, we just clicked and wanted each other.
What I can say is that when it happens it happens. So dont try to force it when the spark isnt there and the chemistry is missing.
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A
female
reader, cnith +, writes (21 April 2010):
 You keep finding/picking unavailable men.
Tell you what. Next tiem you meet a guy make him your friend, not potential boyfriend, then pay attention. Is he even bf material? If he is, jot down why and soon enough you'll have a list of what you want as a bf and then you can start the weeding process. Maybe from your already friends with guys or new ones.
In other news, the dude with the gf you should have left alone anyway, why would you want a cheater? The dude at the club was probably just using you for something. The shy dude? Well you should ask HIM out and see what happens. If he says no, then he probably has something else going on that you don't know about. Maybe a gf stashed somewhere. Who knows.
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