A
male
age
30-35,
*hsyciatrist-to-be
writes:Is it me?Am I crazy?Do I smell?Am I gay, and the only one that can't see it?Why the hell is it that every girl I ask out is taken without me knowing, or not wanting to be in a relationship? Am I destined to be alone forever? I used to be so full of hope: I'll find someone, it'll turn out ok... SCREW THAT!!!I dont know why the hell I'm writing to this site: people have written the same things before, so I know what kind of answers I'll get. Heck, I posted a few myself. I guess I just need to vent...A few months ago, I asked someone out. She told me she wasnt ready for another relationship, having only recently broken up with someone else. Fine. I'll wait.Couple of weeks later, I find out she has some feelings for me. Whoop-de-doo, I think. I ask her out a second time that same evening. Nope, still not ready.And then again, just before christmas. She's just trying to collect herself: there's a lot going on. Ok, sure. I'll wait some more.And then last night. We'd just spent a great day together: gone out, walked around town, doing whatever etc. I went way out of my way and walked her all the way home, just to spend that little extra bit of time with her. I asked her in the evening. She answered 5 minutes ago. I've got the convo up right now, here:"Which reminds me, I got your message. And If im to be honest, I really dont want to go out with any1 atm, coz It's stressful, and I end up being depressed, or depressing someone else. Not only that, I think we're really good friends and I'm just worried that If we went out, it'd wreck that."I havent cried in ages...Never contemplated killing myself before, either. But now, I can see why some people find it appealing.I'm just struggling to understand why. Why has every girl I've had feelings for rejected me? Why am I less appealing than the chavvy idiots at school? Why are girls so damn difficult to understand?Why do tears taste salty?
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male
reader, The old Man?  +, writes (25 January 2009):
 Just hold on there Boscoe, don't go doing anything stupid!
I feel your pain. I went through a slump that lasted a few years. I felt like I could walk in to a whore house with a back pack full of cash, and by damn if that wasn't the day the girls all decided to change their ways.
I asked the EXACT same questions that you are!
You're more than likely trying too hard! Just relax, spend time with your friends, and TRY to enjoy yourself.
Most of all, BE YOURSELF!
Forget about online dating, that will only depress you all the more.
And if you think you're going to understand girls, get that idea out of you head right now! I've studied them all my life, there are no two the same.
Send me a PM if you want!
Joe
A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (25 January 2009):
 Tears taste salty so we dont get to like crying too much.
You are low at the moment and you dont need me to tell you this, but you do know deep down that non of this is you and that it will get better, you just want it all now!!
I can tell you truthfully that you probably dont get some girls because you are "nice, honest, non chavvy, inteligent and not an idiot". Some girls really like the thick men with the "attitude" and the treat em mean, keep em keen attitude. Those girls would never suit you so no loss that they dont want you.
The girl you need and will love is just not found to you yet, we can spend a life time looking for the right person and when we do find them, they are "the one" and we know it somehow.
Right now you are just having a dry period and im sure this will not last long, are you looking in the right place? are you asking the right girls?
The girl that you mentioned, is really not for you, she is stringing you along and will never have a seriouse relationship with you and maybe she is being honest when she says she wants you only as a friend, you cannot make her feel something she does not and neither would you want her to as that would be false and you deserve the love of a good woman, who wants a relationship thats not just friends.
You said it yourself, you know what the answers will be and im no different, all I will say is that usually when you stop looking, you find what you want!!
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A
female
reader, didda123 +, writes (25 January 2009):
 Well don't despair i know it is a difficult situation but you seem like a very nice guy and you definately have a good sense of humour which some girl will really appreciate.
I am sure the right girl will come along shortly but in the meantime i wouldn't waste anymore energy on this girl. Start looking around elsewhere i know you really like her but she knows that and whilst you are giving her the impression that you are hanging on her every word she has the upper hand.
If she sees that someone else may be on the horizon for you and she really does like you in that way i think that this will make her come to her senses pretty sharpish a bit of competition never done anyone any harm!
Start doing other activities which you may not have done before hanging out in different places and when you see her out maybe do a little harmless flirting with other girls its funny how this reverse psychology can work and even if it doesn't on this occasion at least you will be in a better position to meet some different girls and maybe someone else will begin to appeal to you.
It's her loss don't put yourself down you have a lot to offer.
Best of luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): You asked a load of questions to which most of them you know the answer...because they contain salt ;) I think your main issue though is with that rebound girl.Girl's on the rebound rarely want something serious straight after a break up and it's more likely that she has gone to you for comfort and a shoulder to cry on. That's just the way it is, it's unlikely anything will ever happen cos you're now in the "friend zone" and as she said she doesn't want to ruin that, because you've been a good friend to her and she feels a relationship would ruin it based on her past bad experiences.Rejection is part of life nothing you can do about that, just remember you have plenty of time to find a girl, try not to be too eager, girl's tend not to find over eagerness an attractive trait, just relax and it will happen.
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