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Is it love or dependency for your husband?

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 October 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 4 October 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *andygurl writes:

I know dis female who husband cheats on her. his last mistress he actually fell in love wit. He actually left his wife, wanted a family and was getting a divorce to be with her. After the affair the mistress ended the relationship and he went back to his wife. even doe he went back to his wife he still continue on seeing his mistress. His wife knows he still see her, taking care of her, and buy her things instead of her. My question is why do his wife puts up with him. Is she being desparate or just settling. Now I do believe if u been in a marrage for a while u will try to do anything to make it work. Me personal if u cheated more than once and the help we seek still doesn't work I don't any more reason of still being married. Can u really love someone that much to continue to be hurt and abused mentually for a guy who just there because u allow it. Because he cheated he now has a baby on the way and the wife actually blames the mistress. MY OPINION its her fault because if u dealt with the cheating all this time and didn't do anything about it of course a baby or him leaving u will occur don't get me wrong its his fault 100% and so is the mistress but to me his wife musta been in denial or just plain naive. What do u think.

View related questions: affair, divorce, fell in love, mistress

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A female reader, candygurl United States +, writes (4 October 2010):

candygurl is verified as being by the original poster of the question

They been 2gather for 17yrs filled for divorce twice but stopped both of dem. I believe it can work only if he's willing to meet her halfway but he won't even after leavin her twice and cheating on her. She is in denail cus she caught him with his mistress more than once and plus he don't hide shit he kinda tells her the truth. I feel as though she's givin him to much Power he's ruin her life. Its makin her question herself physically she looks much older than him but she's much younger she gain a lot of weight she was so much in church, teaches dance mintstry n everything since she took him back she kinda stopped going. Its jus an emotional toll on her and I don't see y she don't see it. She will make herself even more sick from da drama and stress he's putting on her. In reality if a man knows he can have his cake and eat it too without any drama he will continue doing him

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A male reader, Cerberus_Raphael Sweden +, writes (4 October 2010):

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntI wouldn't say it was the wife's fault. Perhaps she truly did love him that much. How long were they married? If it was a long time, perhaps she did not want to let go of it all. Maybe she was used to his company and did not want to change it. I think maybe she is in denial. She needs to leave her husband, no matter how painful it might be for her, she has to leave before her own life starts wandering into a dark heartache she cannot turn back from. It will not be easy to force her own mind into realizing how demented this relationship has become but it is something she cannot afford to avoid.

I hope that helps.

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