A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure if it's just wedding nerves or if I'm having second thought's about marrying my fiancée.It's two months away and the more and more closer it gets, the more I seem to be confused.I love my fiancée, he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, I'm sure of that. We have been through so much together in the give year relationship we have had that it seems nothing will break us apart. We have suffered two miscarriages, and a car accident which nearly cost my fiancée his life. As well as arguments, money worries, in laws, the whole package. But we always make it through somehow. When we got engaged, I never really thought as far ahead as the actual wedding. I have never really viewed myself as a girly girl, or someone who dreams of their perfect wedding day. I never really wanted to ever get married, until he proposed. When he had his terrible accident, he said he didn't want to spend another day just being a couple, he wanted more. I don't know if it was emotions or whatever but we ended up engaged as he laid in hospital with a broken thigh and many other injuries.Months passed, as we planned things, and it didn't seem real to me until last month when we sent out invites. People at work talk about it constantly, my family are always talking or planning something regards to the day, my fiancée grandmother lives in Spain, and she has paid for her flights and it's just so fast I haven't had time to breathe. He seems so excited, he can barely wait. He returned to work after 4 months, and I thought once he was at work he would calm down as he has a stressful job working within a children's social centre and I thought his mind would be on work. His parents have paid for a lot of the wedding, and I feel so bad for allowing them to.I'm not sure why i feel like running away, but I do. Everything is just moving way too fast, when we booked the date, 10 months seemed so far away but now it's on our doorstep. Wedding nerves or something else?! I'm 24, and my fiancée is 27. We are young but I know he is the one, so why am I so unsure?
View related questions:
at work, engaged, grandmother, money, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sweet Dreamer xxx +, writes (27 August 2014):
 You're not unsure though, you know exactly what you want. You said it yourself at the start of the question, your in love with him and have been throughout the thick and thin. You know you guys are not going to let things get in the way!
You just need to have some time to take a breather, why don't you and your partner go do something which doesn't involve wedding plans.
Go to a spa together, even a day trip to your local beach will make you guys remember what the whole marriage is about... your love of each other!
Everyone feels this way when the wedding is at their doorstep. But once you put on your dress and walk up the aisle, the look on his face when he see's you will remind you that your all that he will ever want and marrying you is his way of showing the world the love he has for you.
I wish you luck with the wedding, but don't forget to take the time to breathe, tell him you need some time away from the wedding plans, just to be a couple, he'll understand.
Sweet Dreamer xxx
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (27 August 2014):
 OP are you sure you love him? Before you vehemently shake your head and say, "what do you know, of course I do!", take a moment and think. You might love someone but there's a difference between loving someone and being IN love with them. Are you dead sure that you're not confusing those two feelings?
You say that you've been through a lot together and you almost use that as a way to resign to your fate. Its like saying, "after all we've been through, how can we not be together? Do I even have an option?"
You got engaged after his accident and again it seems to me that you did it out of guilt and you did it to make him happy, because after all that he'd been through, you didn't have the heart to tell him no. Maybe you were happy drifting along the way you were but putting a ring on your finger and actually planning the wedding made it real and something that happened too soon.
Remember, you had an option and you have it till you say "I do". If you feel that you're not ready, then back out AT ONCE before things go any further. What's the worse that'll happen? People will have to cancel their tickets and all the preparation will come to a full stop. Yes you'll have made more than your share of enemies but if this is the price you have to pay for your freedom, then this is what you have to do. Dont you think its better ending it NOW than having to get married and God forbid have it end in a divorce? Its be a million times messier then with all the legal tangles.
OP you shouldn't have said yes to the guy if you didn't mean it. I know you meant well but look what you've gotten yourself into. However, just because you did agree to get married, it doesn't mean that you have to go ahead with it if you don't want to. And this isn't just something random, its your whole life we're talking about here. Back out RIGHT NOW if you're this unsure because trust me, if this is the way you're feeling now, it will only get worse as the day gets closer.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2014): Wedding nerves. If you read your post you say that you know he's the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Come on, you answered your own question.
...............................
|
