A
female
age
51-59,
*aggs
writes:When my boyfriend is drunk, he always flirts with other girls. He'll grab their boobs etc. Or he lies about things. When I talk to him about this, he always says thats the alcohol talking. Does he really know what he is doing?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 November 2012):
 He knows... he may not remember (a huge red flag if he is drinking enough for blackouts) but ALCOHOL does not make you do things you would not normally do if you were sober, it just takes away the inhibitions to do those things.
A
female
reader, Raggs +, writes (9 November 2012):
Raggs is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for answering. I know you are right, but was hoping he didn't really know what he was doing.
Thanks again.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 November 2012):
 Oh, he KNOWS what he is doing, he just uses the alcohol as his excuse.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (9 November 2012):
 Alcohol will lower one's inhibitions, so I do agree somewhat with his theory. On the other hand, if he knows that he gets carried away when he drinks -- you'd think he'd wise up and not drink especially when he will be tempted to flirt with women he shouldn't (and thus sully your relationship and inflict pain upon you).
His excuse though is just that: a cheap excuse. Drinking to excess doesn't exempt you from not being in the wrong.
If alcohol is making him a jerk, he has a responsibility to not drink. If he fails to see this, it may mean he has a drinking problem or he hasn't matured beyond the "frat boy" mentality. Either way, your boyfriend's actions have red flags waving all over it. Hopefully it will give you pause to question your man's character.
Eddie
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2012): He's right OP it's just the alcohol forcing him to, he has no choice and I can fire laser beams out of my eyes and shoot fireballs out of my arse.
Alcohol doesn't excuse bad behaviour OP. Sure we can be stupid as hell while drunk but if the behaviour is seriously wrong while sober then being drunk is not an excuse. Are you not a drinker OP?
I mean my inhibitions get lowered but I'm in a relationship, even paralytic with one eye shut and barely able to speak I would not do anything that would be a deal breaker to my girlfriend. Touching other women's boobs is definitely one of those things, that's not flirting OP that's crossing a line.
Puking in your girlfriends hair in bed because you were too drunk to move, now that's the alcohol talking. Calling up her father to tell him how amazing you think his daughter is at 3 am on a sunday night, that's alcohol.
Let me ask you this OP, you wonder if he knows what he's doing, well even if he magically didn't know what he was doing while drunk, he knows what he's like when drunk and still decides to drink doesn't he? So yes OP what he's doing is intentional and yes even while he's drunk he knows what he's doing, he just thinks it's so much fun why not keep doing it? I mean is there a reason he should stop?
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (9 November 2012):
 Yes he does. Have you ever been drunk in your life? I'm willing to bet you have. Have you ever grabbed a man's penis without knowing it? Being drunk does not give us the excuse to do whatever we want, though people sure do try and use it that way. All it does is lower our inhibitions and allows us to do the things we wouldn't normally do sober, it does NOT mean we don't know exactly what we are doing. Only when blacked out drunk and passed out would I say you really don't know what's going on, but at that state you are far from grabbing boobs and flirting.
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A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (9 November 2012):
 Whether he knows what he's doing or not I don't think it's acceptable. Being drunk is not an excuse for bad behaviour. If he can't control himself when he's drunk then he shouldn't get drunk!
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