A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Ok I am 18 years old and I am at college right now. I stay in the dorms. Before I went to college, I wasn't a virgin. The only person I ever had sex with was my ex-boyfriend of 2 and a half years. He and I waited 2 years before we had sex. Anyways, I get to college and I meet this guy. One night we are in my dorm room and we just end up talking from like 12am to like 6am. So he was about to leave but I told him he could stay and he spent the night. But we didn't do anything but sleep. When we woke up, we ate cereal and watched tv and kicked it. He hugged me and kissed me all day and was caking up with me. For the next month he'd call me or text me up to his room just to lay down with him and go to sleep with him. But as time progressed he's be more touchy feely and whatever. (The first night we spoke we establish that we nboth weren't looking for a girlfriend or boyfriend but just someone to chill with.) After that month, we had sex. It was really good. Since then, he and I have sex probably twice a week. He doesn't come ask me to just chill anymore and once I told him I wasnt in the mood to have sex so I didn't know if I should go up there and he said "yeah then maybe you shouldn't" but he still always wants to have sex and I am the ONLY person he is having sex with. The more I have sex with him, the more attached I get. He used to come on my floor just to chill but he doesn't come around anymore and he only calls me up there on the late night tip to have sex and usually I just leave back to my room...I have spent the night like 5 times..(not including the times before we had sex).Sometimes if we haven't texted or seen each other in like 3 days, he texts me just to say hi or calls me to come chill but thats RARE. And when he sees me around our group of friends or public he acts normal but he usually leaves the room because he is not a people person. Sometimes when he sees me in public he gives me hugs rarely and he talks to me. Everyone in our social group knows that he and I mess around. He is the only person I have sex with and chill with and the same goes for him. But my friends keep telling me that the only reason he and I are like this is because from the get go we made it seem like we didn't want anything more. And I looked at his facebook page (which he hardly gets on) and his supposed ex from back home change her status from "single" to "in a relationship". But everytime he goes to his page he deletes her comments. And after the first time we had sex and I realized I started having feelings for him and saw his status said "married" (which is still does) he told me some girl from his old school was bugging him about getting together. But when people ask him, who's he married to he says i'm married to the money game or something....my questions are :is it just sex for him?can we ever pursue a relationship?does he or will respect me if I keep having sex with him?Please!!!!! help me.. thanks people.
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (27 November 2008):
 Yes the fact that he can't enjoy your company and just 'chill' anymore. The sex has changed what you used to have and cannot go back to now because you are on a different plane with him. Do you want more, do you want to finish with your boyfriend back home. He must know you have a boyfriend and possibly thinking where does that leave him and possibly that you are just messing him about. Take time out to think about what you want and when you have decided where the college boy fits in, talk to him. You obviously had good communication before. hope this helps.
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