A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have a loving husband but whenever we get into an argument he raises his voice, verbally abuses me and then it's the silent treatment but he acts as if nothing has happened. I feel very rejected as we live in the same house and we just pass each other without a glimpse. I feel gutted as he won't just sit down and speak about the problem. What can I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): As an explanation maybe this isn't the same but I am the one who tends to give the silent treatment. I tend to take the verbal abuse from both my husband and so called friends at times I do not argue back or disagree any more because I have learned over the years it doesnt change or matter more often just gets worse it always gets turned around to be my fault. So I tend to shut down out of self protection.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): My EX husband did this to me for months on end. I would get the silent treatment, ask him what was wrong and get no response at all. He would treat other people normally. My mother used to do the same thing to my father when I lived at home and I began to think it was something about me. I can only assume that your husband is unhappy and dis-satisfied with his lot. This is not down to you but he obviously holds you partly responsible which you are not. I went for councelling for months and it was explained to me that the person is unhappy with themselves but they will blame and cut off you as they won't admit the problem lies with them. This situation made me very very unhappy and we are now divorced. It wasn't what I wanted but he would never communicate and I never got to the bottom of why he would ignore me how ever much I tried. I have thought on this subject a lot and think in my case my ex husband felt aggrieved and that he could have done so much better without me and this silent treatment was done purposely to hurt and pay me back for something. I understand how draining and awful this is but this mental cruelty grinds you down and I would not put up with it for too much longer or it will make you ill. I think you need to grasp the bull by the horns and ask him exactly what this is all about and if you do not get a satisfactory answer that you can work on together really think about leaving him as from experience it only gets worse.
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