A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Theres a guy I've become quite friendly with over the past year. He lives quite far away, so I don't see him often. Whenever we're together we act like a couple, with him intiating most things (as I didn't want to seem to keen, as I like him loads) we kiss alot, cuddle, hold hands whilst walking, snuggle up to each other.. he even insists on paying for everything, and says about spoiling me, which is nice. The dilema I'm having, is the last time we met up we slept together, but didn't plan it. He said he felt quite 'bad' as he knew I wanted to wait, but said it was really nice too! Now whenever we speak on instant messenger, it nearly always ends up talking about sex, aswell as all the sweet things he says. I'm going up again next week, but I'm not sure what to do. I really want to see him, but I don't want it just to be about sex, as I really like him. Shall I just reject any advances for sex, and just see how he takes it? Unfortuantly, he's going into the armed forces towards the end of the year, which I feel is a main reason to why he hasn't asked me out yet, as he knows I'm moving closer to where he lives because of family. I don't think he's the kind of person to have a long distance relationship, I think he'd find it difficult, which probably explains why he hasnt asked me out so far, as I live a few hours away from him. I know the more I see him the more I'm going to fall for him, which isn't that good, considering he's going away towards the end of the year (September/October time). I really like him, but I'm scared of asking him whats going on between me and him. I'm wondering if he really does like me, and want to be with me.. with other factors holding him back? Or if it just sounds like he's using me for sex? What are your opinions on it all? Does he like me? Or is it just for the sex? What should I do?Your help would be much appreciated!Thankyou.
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male
reader, DLover  +, writes (29 March 2009):
I agree with ArmyMedic: it is sad to say, but like all men, he needs sex... and might want to get it somewhere else if you don't (which is WRONG, I am not saying it's right). Do you enjoy having sex with him ? If so, why not have it ? If not, make it better !
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (29 March 2009):
 Some people will disagree with what I say here but I am a Soldier and once was a young soldier who got up to mischief.
He probably does like you but in the coming months of training and going out with lots of other young, physacally fit guys who are proud of their service, have a good uniform and full of confidence. And they will all go out on the pull, if he is not 100% committed to you, there maybe other girls that don't have the same morals as you that he meets (most of whom do like the uniform.)
I think now he has had sex with you, that will be the main thing on his mind and if you don't want to have sex he will go elsewhere (I'm not justifying this, it's just waht a lot of young soldiers do)
Talk to him about him joining the Army and ask him where he thinks your relationship will go. But accept the fact that he WILL spend most of his time away training or in Iraq/Afganistan and it is very stressful for both of you, and you have to be a very, VERY special person to be able to deal with this.
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