A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am curious if a guy really digs you and spends all his free time with you, and doesn't see other women, and there is lots of good loving sex, and has talked about the future ect... but then sez he does'nt have 'those' feelings, what does it mean? why would he be with me if he didn't have feelings? we hang out without sex too... like can he just not admit it, or does he not know, or is he just uncertain? any help would be appreciated oh going out almost a year. has mentioned that he doesn't like to make commitments... Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009): If the guy hasn't told you "I love you" in almost a year, then I think this is going nowhere. Put your focus on you, who cares why he is not dating others (and how do you really know he never sees any one else?) and decide what it is you want.
If you want to get to your happy ever after with a man, then don't put yourself on reserve for this man, start dating other men and let him know that he can't have you all to himself while he is trying to make up his mind about you.
Not having those feelings means he doesn't think he is in love with you, but likes you as a bed buddy.
If you want more, move on....you are more than likely wasting your time here....and if you start dating others, it just might make this one step up to the plate and claim you....but I wouldn't count on it. Men know what they want, they aren't scared of their feelings and if he ain't feeling it then it is about him, not you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009): A lot of men are afraid of commitment. They fear the label. Just enjoy what you have with him for now and see where it goes. Friends with Benefits...is just a way of saying I want to be with you, but I am scared shitless to make a decision/commitment!
As women, we have a need to hear/say those three little words that make our hearts skip a beat! It's amazing how complicated relationship can be (at any age!)
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (29 March 2009):
He is in a friends with benefits relationship with you.
That means he is your friend, and he likes to have sex with you.
It is highly likely that he will never have feelings for you and will never want you as a girlfriend. He just sees you as his best mate, and you can have sex sometimes for fun.
Just because he's loving when he has sex with you, it doesn't mean anything. It just means he likes that style of sex. He's enjoying himself.
If you want more from him and he has said it will never happen then you need to move on. Find a guy that will love you back. Don't waste your time on this one as he has said he only wants friendship. Tell him you have to spend some time away from him as you want to date and find a boyfriend who will commit to you. Then you can go back to being friends if you think that is appropriate.
Good Luck!! xx
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