A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:About a year ago I divorced and reconnected with a man I have know all my life. We had dated our senior year of high school until he moved and then again when we met up about ten years later until he moved for his job. He kept in contact with me when he came to the area until I got married. He now calls me at least every other day. He remembers many more details of our earlier relationships than I can and has kept my picture for over twenty years (even through his own marriage). His family says that he has been in love with me since childhood. I am uncertain of that though. Could this just be a walk down memory lane for him or is it possible he really cares for me?
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (29 November 2010):
Hi. Thanks for clarifying that for me. It's good he's not married anymore and that it's been a long time since then.
And you have been divorced for a year.
Well then, you just never know where it might lead. You are both free agents now.
It sounds pretty positive to me.
Just take it slow and no pressure to become serious, and see how it pans out over time.
I forgot to ask you, do you live close to each other? Same state, same town?
A
female
reader, pixiegirls +, writes (28 November 2010):
 Is this a “first love” situation? Is he currently still married?
The feelings and relationships we had when we were younger, especially the “first love” ones, are one of the strongest bonds we may ever have with another person. Your situation is not all that uncommon, especially now with Facebook, classmates, and other social networks.
Studies have been done regarding the reconnections of “first loves” and have shown that those relationships, especially if interrupted by other circumstances, have a neurological attachment, or “imprint” upon us that can stay with us for the rest of our lives.
Memory lane is only a part of the phenomenon. The memories of these relationships bring back fond memories not only of the person, but of better and simpler times. Usually, the reasons for the breakup, which are critical in determining any success in a reconnection, may not be recalled in the beginning.
I would have no doubt that he has always truly cared, for all that have had a first love experience will always hold and keep a part of our hearts for that person. That is the imprint left on us. And the feelings we hold for them are true and sincere. Whether or not recapturing them is realistic is another story.
You don’t say whether or not reconnecting with this man is something you want or not. I will say from personal experience that it can be a roller coaster, and that those that do succeed in rekindling their relationship where both are single/divorced, have a high percentage of success. This though, is according to a few other circumstances.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): If you made enough of an impression for him to remember you in that way for all those years, it doesn't really matter. I'm not sure what is meant by "walk down memory lane", or how something like that would be different from caring for someone... He obviously cared for you then and hasn't forgotten (meaning let go?) of those feelings. You are talking and if he is still calling, he enjoys your conversation and must feel again a good part of whatever he was feeling then that kept you in his mind. He feels he owes it to himself finally to see what would have been.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe is not married and hasn't been for many years...sorry for the confusion. He actually is retired from the Army and is now in law inforcement. He seems very balanced. He travels world wide on his vacations, is very active in his church and is very close with his parents and siblings.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (28 November 2010):
Hi there. It could be a nice memory for him.
However, who you both are now is not who you were then. People don't really change who they basically are, all that much.
Situations can change people a bit, but fundamentally he is probably similar to back then.
He is married you say, so unless he is very unhappy with his marriage, he probably wants to stay where he is.
During all relationships at some time, there can be stages of feeling a bit bored and restless with life, and dreams not coming true, but it's not always about the marriage, but more about the person who is feeling this way. He might be going through a stage like this in middle age (this is common), where he feels like he wants more excitement. Not necessarily an affair, but just more fun generally.
Perhaps he just needs to get more balance in his life, and start having fun. He could start some hobbies that will make his life more interesting and inspiring.
It kind of does sound like he needs to find a sense of purpose in his life, he might be searching for it.
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