A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Is it in poor taste to ask for money via a website?a few days ago, a "mature in age" friend of mine that I have not talked with in about three months sent me and all of his friends one of those collection pages (Fundable.com) asking for money. This money is fund his dream to become an actor. He needs an audition tape, a new suit, flight and hotel money to take part in a convention in the big city. He says has a job and a lot of credit card debt.Do you find this to be in poor taste? Why or why not?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 April 2009):
 It does seems to be in poor taste. But it really is up to you wheather you want to give him some money (donate) or not. I understand that you know it is his dream, but he is also a grown ass man who SHOULD have though of putting away a few dollars here and there to reaslize his dream.
It is however REAL easy to ignore the mass email.
He might think that he is being "creative" - it might be something someone else suggested to him.. You never know.
If he is a friend he really should have called and asked.
I dunno, I find it odd.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): I am the poster of this question.Due to his age and ambition I think that he should be able to pay his own way to the actors convention. If this is something that he wanted to do for a long time. He should have saved money for the future and not got into such debt. I payed my own way to the actors workshops years ago. No one gave me money. I would be looked down on like I was a little kid if I did this with my friends and family. If it was for cancer, whales or to help fund a mission trip to help feed the children then I would welcome such an idea. If it was to fund my vacation to Las Vagas to get a casino job no. I think one should get a job and pay for their own trip. Also in my country it is not in good taste to tell people to go out and buy gifts for your shower. The host of the party,which is a family member or close friend is suppose to alert the guests when they ask about the gifts and registry. The person whom is getting the gifts should not email all their guests and say, "I am having a party here is where you can buy me a gift."
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A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (8 April 2009):
 Are you upset because, as Gina said, he asked you out of the blue and not with a personal approach and all the niceties and humbleness that go with it, or because as GinsengMeow said, because you did not want to help him pursue his dream? Or perhaps because "help" should come from a "nomination" or a third party "sponsor"? [as opposed to a "self promotion"]
The concept of asking for money via a registration is not unusual. Your "friend" is just being "creative". I mean, people register for wedding presents, baby gifts, anniversaries, etc. So why not for a dream to pursue?
But you are right, at the very least, he should have at least tried to at first contact you personally and explain the whole situation in details [including why he got into a credit card debt], and then directs you to his page if you agreed to help him. It is the so called "etiquette". I think even politicians do this in their fund-raising efforts [with the help of their volunteers], before sending mass-emails to their constituents.
Cat
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): "Poor taste" derives from conceit. An individual will have his and her perks and his and her quirks. If this is his way, then this is his way. If you choose not to aid in his ambitions, then don't. Whether it be in "poor taste" or otherwise has no bearing whether he 'should' or 'should not' do it.
My mother peels her apples with her thumb and blade. I choose to eat the apples with their skins. My sister smashes them for her cider. They have their ways. I have mine.
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