A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Readers, I recently starting dating somebody. He is a really great guy. I have some strong feelings about him, and he also feels the same about me. I am a " good girl" as you call it. No drugs, no drinking, partying or bars. I am also a mother to a toddler. He smokes Pot. Not on a daily bases, but he does it. I have told him how I feel about drugs.. Not trying to be pushy. I told him we could work together on this and I would be a support system.. He is being really cool about it. But what is hard is I can't tell when he is High or not.. I dont want to ask him every day. are you high,, I mean come on. I just don't agree with pot. I teach my daughter that stuff is bad and I cant be hanging out with a guy who does it.. What should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): Many pot smokers don't think it's worse than the legal vices (tobacco, drinking). Why do you think they want to legalize it? You can tell him how important it is to you and your daughter that he doesn't do it, but you'll have to realize that it will be very difficult to get him to change if he doesn't want to change for himself. Even if he agrees to change, he'll probably slip on occasion. I think it's important not to flip out at that point, because what you don't want him doing is getting defiant and sneaking around you to smoke. The best way to handle slip ups is to acknowledge it calmly, express some disappointment, but emphasize your belief that he's doing his best and can do better next time. Before all this, ask yourself honestly if you're prepared for the worst outcome. That is, what if he can't or won't change his habit? If you can't live with it, then you have to move on. You're only doing a disservice to yourself, your daughter, and your boyfriend by letting things develop.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): Oh man, smoking pot? That's such a bad drug, not only do presidents smoke it but world class athletes do. My oh my. LOL smoking weed in moderation is not a bad thing, you even said he doesn't do it everyday, so who cares, as long as he's not toking it up near your kid then it shouldn't be a problem.
You should ask him to smoke it or try it with him so you will know what weed smells like. You cannot explain the smell of weed, you need to actually smell it. Once you smell it once and know what it is you will never forget.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): For telling if he is high, it is quite simple: look for discoloration of the eyes.. red or pink, a slight slurring of his words, and the smell..well the smell should be very telling. Its a smokey smell, but more rank than tobacco, and the smell just infuses the users clothes. So either smell that.. or if he is dousing himself with cologne, thats another way to know.If you go to kiss, it should be plainly evident in the breath.Also.. Their hair gets greasier way faster than normal.. they are more prone to acne breakouts, and have a tendency to eat more than normal.. Binge eating is typical to one who's just gotten high.Also.. pay attention to his friends.ah, the adventures of a misspent youth lol
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A
female
reader, minnie_me  +, writes (8 April 2009):
theres not much else you can do you have offered to help and support him and if he doesnt accept you offer then the best thing you could do is leave him. its probly best for you and your daughter.
Good luck with everything!
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