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female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend never wants to get married, I guess it's just not for him. That's fine with me, because I'm not sure I like the idea of marriage either. Well, I'm a virgin and I've been thinking a lot lately about sex and eventually I would like to have sex for the first time with him. I love him, trust him, and he is very respectful, everything is good, but the problem is, I feel like I would want something else in return. Something like representative, like a marriage would be, but not as much I guess. Is that greedy? And any ideas? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): You can give him your virginity, your heart & soul, and even your bank accounts in the Cayman islands. But you won't ever be able to make the relationship any more serious than he wants it to be.
And if you sleep with him just to force it so he feels guilty or obligated about it, then I think YOU are being as emotionally-manipulative as guys are always accused of being on the sex issue.
A
female
reader, karenw61 +, writes (29 July 2006):
hi there
the only thing that i have to say is that you can only give it away once so make sure its to some one that you want to remember
karen
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2006): Don't do anything you aren't sure of. You want to be able to look back on your first time with a smile, not a grimace. Take it from me, someone who made the mistake of giving myself to someone who didn't deserve it, make sure you have everything you wanted for your first time before you go through with it. Make a mental checklist and make sure everything that's important to you is accounted for. If commitment is what's important to you, but there's none, then you'll just have to keep those urges to yourself and wait for the perfect time. Also make sure that you use protection your first time and know your partner's sexual history. You don't want your first time to be something that you'll regret for the rest of your life, and have a constant reminder of. Be firm in your beliefs. It's not selfish or greedy to have boundaries and standards. If your boyfriend can't respect your feelings, he doesn't respect you. So just make sure the time is right and you're not doing anything you're not comfortable with. I hope this helps! I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong!
~RJGirl
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