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female
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*omeone123
writes: Hi!I am in a dilemma since years. I am married and have a son of 5. I get attracted to women and do not like when my man makes love to me.. in fact I cry after he makes love to me coz I do not like it.. He does not know this.. What to do? Should I tell him how I feel?Please advise! Thanks! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, doublethink +, writes (30 July 2006):
 I really feel for you. Obviously you're a mature enough woman to know that sex should be enjoyable for you as well as for him.I think you certainly have to do something - you shouldn't have to be so unhappy. I agree that you shouldn't rush into any decision, but I think that if you're gay, you owe it to yourself, your husband and your son to be honest about it.What then, I don't know. I understand that there isn't an easy solution here but, I believe, you have to do the right thing. At the moment you're deceiving your husband, and he doesn't deserve that. Is he missing out on the opportunity for a truly fulfilling relationship? Do you love him?I think it's important to remember that you don't intend anyone any harm, and that you haven't been unfaithful. If your husband loves you he will want for you to be happy.Could you talk this through with a friend? Someone who is NOT also a friend of your husband? Perhaps rehearse what you could say to him?Hope you get sorted and find a relationship that makes you happy.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2006): Divorce may be a bit haste, especially with a child involved. Do you still love him? That should tell you what to do. If you do, it is worth working things out. Mayble you would benefit from couples' therapy. Is sex your only obstacle? I am unsure if your attraction to other women means that you want an actual relationship with another woman.You do, however, definitely need to talk to your husband. You married him for a reason, so you must have felt like you could share things with him and trust him. Not only does he deserve to know, but you may feel better by telling him. Maybe things will improve once you discuss what you're feeling. Maybe you could be intimate with him in other ways that interest you. Maybe you could explore and experiment, depending on what you're both okay with. If you really don't want to be with a man, then you should follow your heart. But either way, you owe it to yourself and your husband to find out what's really bothering you, and consider all options before making a decision.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2006): i would say that you definitely have to tell him. because imagine how you would feel if your husband cried every time after sex with you because he didn't like it, and he fancied men more. wouldn't you want to know, rather than being drug along? and it also sounds like you should consider getting a divorce. because you clearly are more into women than men, as you wouldn't be crying after sex if you were into men. you should explore your sexuality, and be true to yourself. and if you stay with this man, you may miss out on a wonderful experience.
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