A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been together for 20 months today. I guess it's been so far so good. Its had its rough patches though. She's super insecure and jealous and goes 'psycho' on me a lot.For some reason, I had a dream with this cute emo-ish girl I remember from high school. And we had a long enjoyable conversation. Now, I never met this girl, but i do remember she went to my high school. Here's the thing. For the past few months, I've realized that my girlfriend and I don't really share too much in common. Sure we share core values and stuff. But in terms of interests, tastes, and hobbies, its very minimal.I love her, don't get me wrong. But you see, I've always been this rock type skater/snowboarder, kinda guy. I play guitar, bass, and drums, and snowboard, listen to hardcore metal, punk, etc. and i'm not going to lie, i find emo ish girls very attractive.But she's a dancer, likes bubbly pop songs, some rap music, and when we go to the mall she spends at least an hour or 2 in forever 21. She's very pretty and precious to me. But, she was like one of those 'popular' type girls in high school. she wasn't emo i guess you can say. not that it's important, but i guess i mean that she didn't really like the same things i did. Only until we've been together did she start playing guitar, listening to more of my type of music, snowboarding, etc. But i didn't find her that way. she's still bubbly and it's still annoying to go to forever 21. when she talks about dancing and girl problems with her girl friends, i get extremely bored and find myself spacing out not even listening sometimes. And it's also vice versa for her. she doesn't listen a lot too. am i just having some sort of break down? i love her. but is it bad that we dont' share the same interests? do we really love eachother when we don't have the same tastes or interests? We've already talked about marriage. I don't want it to just work, i want it to be my happiness. and right now i don't really care that today marks 20 months.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Superso123  +, writes (24 July 2010):
Listen you love her right?
Well if you love her why don't you have proper
feelings for her!
Find the girl in your dreams, find your real soul mate
because it's what you feel inside.
You may find her beautiful but what is she really?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): Hounestly I think a relationship can work out with some one who has different intrestes, but if she is jelous(means she douesn`t trust you) and you don`t or have never done anything to make her jelous or to not trust you, that alone can ruin the relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): Hi there,
you repeatedly say you love this girl who sounds like a complete sweetheart ,who loves you back and seemingly would do anything for you. You don't need to have the exact same hobbies/interests as your other half-that's what makes things interesting and gives each of you your own time to focus on yourself. Every couple needs there individual time where they can enjoy the things they don't share with there b/f or g/f. For example, I lovee horse riding but would neverrr expect my boyfriend to come with me, I don't think I'd want him too either, it's my thing!!
Love your girlfriend for who she is instead of wishing she be something she's not, there's nothing great about being 'emo', it's just another label!
And, if you don't like spending 2 hours in 'Forever 21' then don't do it, politely suggest she go with her girlfriends so she doesn't feel like she has to rush. You didn't even talk to this 'emo' girl you had a dream about, so it's not like you know her, just a memory so leave it at that.
Also, if you don't care it's your anniverary, no big deal-isn't it only the yearly anniversaries that actually count anyway?!
I think you need to relax into your relationship and STOP over analysing things, opposites attract remember!!
Xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): People have to have similar interests in a relationship or it won't work. If two people are polar opposites then you'll never agree on anything resulting in a lot of fights, arguments and annoyance with each other. You can love someone but not be IN love with them. Maybe she's just not the girl for you and it's time to moves on and find someone who enjoys what you and enjoy. A relationship won't work if someone isn't happy or stops caring. Good luck to you.
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A
male
reader, Dan234  +, writes (24 July 2010):
 Maybe you are meant to be with the girl you had a dream about. not this one. just saying.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): People with opposite interests frequently work out together quite well. What's great about it is that both can go off and do their favorite activities and have time to themselves; they don't spend every waking moment together because they do the same activities.
What worries me, though, is this: "when she talks about dancing and girl problems with her girl friends, i get extremely bored and find myself spacing out not even listening sometimes. And it's also vice versa for her. she doesn't listen a lot to"
Not listening to each other is a terrible thing. Ask yourself if it's because you don't care about her feelings or if it's just that you aren't interested about dance-class drama. If it's the first thing, you have a problem on your hands, and it honestly probably won't work. If it's the second thing, there's a solution.
"Only until we've been together did she start playing guitar, listening to more of my type of music, snowboarding, etc. But i didn't find her that way. she's still bubbly and it's still annoying to go to forever 21."
She's been trying to do things you like! Are you trying things she likes? (Standing around in Forever 21 doesn't count.) Try going to a dance class with her to see what it's all about. It's actually very intense physically, and you might be surprised at how "tough" she is.
If your biggest problem is that you hate that she spends two hours per shopping trip in Forever 21, suggest that she go with a female friend, who'd also like to shop in that store. While she's shopping, you can be out skateboarding, playing music, or even shopping for something that interests you.
Take it from an "emo-ish" girl who's dating and outdoorsy, fairly preppy guy: It works. It just needs a little compromise.
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