A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Due to my busy work and school schedule, I only have set times 5 hours/day three days a week to see my boyfriend. He has a completely free summer and flexible schedule, so he sees me during those times. However, sometimes he wakes up late and sometimes his friends ask him to hang out during those times. He has a hard time saying no to friends, as opposed to saying no to me, and oftens leaves me alone at the last minute after his friends text him. Is this fair? It upsets me that he always puts his friends first, when he can see them anytime. These set times are our "date" times. I'm upset that he shows up late and/or leaves early. It's so disrespectful. In my opinion, our time together should be treated as a date, not a casual hangout. Whenever he leaves, he apologizes and acts sweet. But I'm tired of being placed last. He says I'm overreacting. Even so, I can't stand it. One time he joked about not showing up to an important event and I cried. So I'm sensitive about being "ditched." Should I break it off? If he truly cared, would he wake up on time and work around our date times?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2012): I'd say that you're not wrong to feel this way. You say yourself that he "has a completely free summer and flexible schedule", so really he's got no excuse to put you first, as he should be doing with you anyway.You're his girlfriend. Does he seriously, literally "always puts his friends first"? If you really can't stand it, then I'd suggest either trying to sit down with him and talk about it, or consider finishing with him. Perhaps sort of test him...he did that joke with you that made you cry....next time you're with him (as in in person), why not jokingly say "we're over" and see how he feels/likes it! If you really really seriously can't stand it or take it much longer, then it really is probably best to "break it off" with him, rather than 'resenting' him.Goood luck x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2012): My boyfriend does the same thing, he's just too nice. Have you brought it up to him that it bothers you? If he knew he probably wouldn't do it and if he does know and still does it then maybe you should remind him it bothers you and if he continues to do it well then you know what to do sister! Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Romanilove +, writes (23 June 2012):
You sound like a very confident girl and I agree with your opinion. You are a busy woman and your boyfriend should cherish the time you set apart for him.As off as it may sound, I would play the game a bit. Act a bit distant, don't ask him to hang out when he expects you to. Make plans with your friends during those times you set apart for him. Throw him for a loop! Let him be the one to miss you. See where that goes. If that approach doesn't get you the attention you want, you may want to consider the entire relationship...
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