A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend wants threesome with a girl and i said i wanted one with a guy. Than he started complaning, because he isnt bi-sexual like me, so he wouldn't get any thing out of it. But with a girl we both would because i'm bi-sexual. So i gave in. But now i think if he's having sex with a girl then i should be able to have it with a guy. Can i change my mind?
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (5 June 2011):
 threesomes make a mess of many relationships.
they create insecurity, resentment, and a lack of satisfaction with normal sexual activity.
they are best avoided for most relationships.
all this idea of a threesome has shown you is that he is unwilling to compromise and that the whole situation is about meeting HIS fantasy.
has he even considered you might end up liking this girl more than him? that probably hasn't even registered with his but it is possible is it not? you dont know until after and by then the dye is cast.
i would avaoid introducing another person into my relationship unnecessarily, but thats just me. it think its opening a can of worms...
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 June 2011):
 You're allowed to change your mind, yes!!! And even if you're a bisexual, you're not forced to have sex with another girl if you DON'T WANT to have sex with another girl.
This all makes me think what's wrong with people today. Sex isn't a game, it's about the two people in the relationship. If he's trying to force you to have sex with a girl when you said you didn't want to, and uses your sexuality against you, makes me wonder how selfish he is or if he even cares about your relationship and sees you as his private sex toy and not a person he respects.
It also makes me wonder why you are with this man if you and him can sit and argue what gender of a person you want to bring into your relationship, placing that 3rd person OVER each other. You're in a relationship with each other, not the other third person that would eventually be included. If you both can't enjoy the act, then it is off the table, period. If you wont enjoy sex with a girl and him, then don't do it. If he won't enjoy having a guy included, then don't do it!
I don't think either of you are ready for a threesome, nor do I think your relationship will survive it. It takes a special kind of relationship to do that, and if you can't even agree on the gender of the person, and make this into a game and tit for tat (if he can get this then I can get that), then your relationship will not make it through such an experience. Trust me. Just abort mission. A threesome is not one of the things you need to have done before you die, people live perfectly happy lives without threesomes. If things don't happen naturally then they aren't meant to be.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2011): This is a tough situation. This is something you both are going to have to figure out, b/c...this is a big thing. Although you could do whatever you want with your body, but..so can he. I wouldn't push it, men- are men. Hes not like you (bisexual), and he may feel uncomfortable in being close, near, or around another naked man. Im sure hes not picking a girl for the threesome b/c hes selfish, hes probably doing it..b/c...you like girls, and its a fun experience. I wouldn't push him to have a threesome with him and another guy, b/c he may become distant, and not want to do anything at all! Maybe consider doing it with a girl? I mean- i know it isn't fair, but...it wouldn't be fair if you were to push him into having a threesome with another man when hes not even bi-sexual. So...the question is....do you want to have a threesome, or not? if you really don't want to have sex with him and another girl- then...tell him you aren't interested in a threesome anymore (but don't make him feel like its his fault, b/c you aren't getting what you want).
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (5 June 2011):
 Have you thought that this isnt about you?
He is lucky you are bi-sexual, otherwise what would he do? I very much doubt he would change his opinion even if you were NOT bi. He would still not want another man anywhere near him. He would still want a MFF, and you would just have to accept it. This is about him getting pleasure, not you.
Having seen so many questions on this topic it always comes across that the threesome is very much for the man's benefit. Glorified cheating, it allows them to have sex with another woman with their GF/Wife's permission.
This is not about you at all, he just wants to sleep with another woman.
Threesomes generally never end well... usually jealousy and trust issues are too much, and many relationships break down. If you are in a commited relationship WHY would you want to sleep with someone else anyway? The thought of another woman pawing at my boyfriend makes me want to weep.
If you have changed your mind and you no longer want this, then that is OK. Tell him. If he gets stroppy then you know he has motives other than just sexual experiementation with you.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (5 June 2011):
 of course you can change your mind! its your mind, your body, your sex life. he is your boyfriend not your master.
if he is not attracted to members of his own sex then you really cannot expect him to do stuff with a guy but he is being rather selfish - he wants to have sex with another girl, he wants to watch you have sex with another girl, he probably does not want to see you nailed by another guy, hence he has opted for the MFF 3some.
you enjoy sex with both sexes so you will be getting something out of the MFF 3some, but on the downside, you have to see him have sex with another girl - is this the part that bothers you?
if there is any chance of jealousy in either of you then i think threesomes of any combination should be AVOIDED.
if you do decide to go ahead with the MFF though, maybe a good compromise would be that you sleep with another guy, but not with your boyfriend there to see it if it bothers him so much. that will even up the score
x
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