A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,I broke up with my long distance boyfriend about a week ago. He lives in Boston and I'm in California. We were together almost 4 years and were incredibly in love. He was my first serious boyfriend. We saw each other about 3 times a year and I was very happy. Happiest i had been in a while. But the past few months I've realized I wasn't doing what was best for me. I wasn't as happy as I thought I was and I thought I could be happier without my ex. So I broke up with him but now I'm regretting it. He was my best friend and we had a spark. I never imagined breaking up with him. I try to remember the reason we broke up but idk if the bad outweighs the good. I feel sad when i think of him with someone else or just moving on. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks.
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best friend, broke up, long distance, my ex, spark Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2013): Whatever decisions we make it often seems at some point we end up regretting them. As the first poster said, any breakup is really hard- particularly the first one cos it's such a shock and you're not sure how to deal with that feeling of doubt and longing. For the record I think you did the right thing- it's near impossible to keep a relationship going only seeing each other 3 times a year- I mean I love my space but it must be agonising! As you've got such a spark and are such good friends, have known each other a long while and it would be a shame to lose a friend- so keep in contact with him, not a lot, just now and again or however often you want; trust me if you just go cold turkey you might end up making crazy harassing advances on him ( if you're anything like me haha!) - now this guy that I loved talking to and wanted in my life thinks I'm some sort of annoying nutter, he used to be so keen all the time until i did some really mad , embarrassing stuff it's been years, and I miss him would just like him in my life even as a friend, but I've just made it too awkward ;/ Anyway, hope this helps, good luck! Xxx :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe actually met online 5 years ago and were friends for awhile and then started dating. We broke up once before a couple years ago and didnt talk for 6 weeks but then got back together. I'm just feeling very regretful. I've never had a real breakup before.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 May 2013):
 you are young and in a LDR that is difficult since you are on opposite ends of the country.
I could not have a boyfriend I only saw three times a year. I'd be insane.
I assume you have broken up and gone no contact... and that's hard... but staying in a romantic relationship that is doomed to fail due to age/distance/etc is not wise.
It's normal to feel sad about a break up even one you wanted and created.
how long have you been apart?
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