| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Hii am in a very bad situation, caused by myself and i dont know whether to carry on witht he status quo or do something which short term will be worse for everyone involved, but long term be better (probably)I have a 3 month old son and have not told the fatheri havent seen him since the night i got pregnantHe is an ex of mine whom i have dated on off sporadically for 6 years now. TBH, i dont know why we kept doing it, all we did was hurt eachhother every time, but it was so easy to hope that 'this time' would be different. It never wasi got pregnant by this guy 3 years ago but had an abortion, there were pressures from every angle, and i regret my decision, but thats not the issue in this question today.thing is, i think it hurt him but he never admitted it, and went on to have a daughter with a futher relationship. They have split.so he now is with neither of his babies mothers. The thing is the mornign after we slept together for the last time (when i got pregnant) he admitted we couldnt be together anymore as he was moving in with a girlfriend that week - em what girlfriend?so he's a natural born cheat, and a lier to boot. so why do i feel i have to protect him from all of this sh*t? Its not fair to him to have his life turned around when he seems so happy with his life, he must be happy with his girlfriend to move in with her, and what affect will this news have on his relationship with his daughter, will her mother freak out at him and cause a mess.is it fair for me to deny my son his fatehr just because im scared that MY life will be turned upside down for this?Maybe the father wont even want to know, but at least the good coming out of that will be that i cant be blamed for keeping him out of my sons life. I dont know what to do for the best?any advice, and please no sarcastic remarks. Unless you have been in my situation, you cant know the confusion. Its not cut and dry 'you have to tell the father', as mentioned above there is so much to lose for everyone concerned. Apart from my son, which kind of answers my question right there. But i worry that my son will be punished by his father for ruining his relationship with his now girlfriend, even though it was him that cheatedany advice?
View related questions:
abortion Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (6 December 2007):
 You keep mentioning "your world" You had a child so now your world doesn't exist if it doesn't benefit your child. It's not your place to decide if there is a relationship between the father and your child or not, it's a relationship they both have the right to develop, and the right to deny.
You both did the act to have the baby and not telling him is a very selfish act. It's much better to face it now then it would be when your child gets older. Denying him could create resentments toward you if you make the choice to keep this secret.
|
