A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Right now, I'm facing a connundrum. I'm a college student so most people want to tell me to focus on school and not a relationship. But I'm under so much pressure I feel like I need someone I can lean on and trust and who isn't looking for forever right now. There is a guy I like but all he wants from me is sex and I often only hear from him when he's drunk his unit also ships out in a few months. There's another guy I could probably get who is kind of cute but he's a guy who would only want sex from me as well. There's also a really sweet guy I think might like me. And I know it sounds like he'd be the one to go for. Unfortunately, I'm not attracted to him and although I don't want a relationship that is only about sex, that would have to be a part of it for me to be happy. What do I do? Is it fair for me to chase after this sweet guy knowing I don't really want him? Or how do I catch the attention of someone who will make me happy and who enjoy being with me as well?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2012):
No, it's not fair to him. Lots of guys might not mind being used by you if they get sex out of it, but a nice, sweet guy is going to think you are the devil incarnate and, worse, you are going to prevent him from meeting a girl who really digs him while you just wait for something better to come along. That's terrible.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012): In my opinion, I think you should give the nice guy a chance. A lot of us don't really know what to do, so we try and be a good friend, even though we like you a lot. If you give him a chance, he'll show you that he can be more than a friend, better than the other guys who just want you for sex. I'm not saying to rush into anything with him, I'm just saying he's there and he wants to make you happy. Plus, who knows? You might like him more than you think, you just don't want to admit it to yourself. And you wouldn't want him to move on, then all of a sudden, your feelings catch up? Just give him a chance to prove it to you.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (25 January 2012):
 Sweet guy needs to learn how to attract women first. Do NOT go after him as hes utterly pathetic as I once was. As for the two bozos who wear a deer t shirt to the gym that states "hunting for tail"? forget them. Ignore them. If sex is all they want, wait til you find the right guy who is both what you want sexually and personality wise. You have a conscience about this random sex and that clearly tells me you will likely regret hooking up with any guy who just wants a lay.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 January 2012):
 No don't do it, you will regret it later and honestly if you aren't into him, stop toying with him. You wouldn't like it if a guy did this to you.
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A
female
reader, Claraw1  +, writes (25 January 2012):
 I'm sorry, but no it wouldn't be fair of you to chase after a guy when you know you don't really want him, that would be using him and nobody deserves to be used. Try to find someone who will make you happy and who you want to be with. It may take some time to find him, but that is far better than using someone. Good Luck.
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