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male
age
,
anonymous
writes: Is it ever a good idea to let the husband of a married woman know that she is cheating on him? These are my neighbors and friends but not super great friends.They've been married for 19 years. I've seen her leave a bar late one night with a strange man - her husband was away on a business trip. I thought maybe he was a relative. Weeks went by, then I saw her again leaving a motel parking lot on Sunday afternoon, after kissing that same guy goodbye. She practically had her tongue in his stomach! On Saturday she kissed her husband goodbye in the drive way on the cheek.Should I say something to my neighbor, or butt out? And how do I tell him anonymously?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2009): if you have to tell the husband do so anonymously. just a note with exact details so that the wife cannot wrangle out of it. remember thus far she has covered her tracks completely so she will be extra careful not to be caught by him. you can also try using a temporary cell to send the sms's then discard that. but i am sure you do not want to spend money unnecessarily. or, when talking to both of them across the fence just casually mention that you could have sworn you saw her (or her twin) at the motel, but you were mistaken. whichever way you reveal the truth to the husband make certain it doesn't come back to bite you in the butt.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (1 April 2009):
 It is easy to feel that you should tell the husband that he is being cheated on. Not telling him feels like betrayal. Or, like seeing someone is being robbed and doing nothing.
However, human beings are not easy. I am sure you expect the neighbor to appreciate your gesture, but sometimes people don't, and they see it as your minding businesses other than your own. I think you should not say anything. Sometimes, the person being cheated on knows about it, and there is a private arrangement in that respect.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2009): WOW ! What a doosey... I have actually been in the very same situation. Only with inlaws. My suggestion to you is an anonymous note. I say this only because it will boil down to your word against hers. More than likely he will take hers out of fear, hurt, rejection and denial. In the note I would simply put ask your wife about the man she was with on such and such a date. At the motel etc. I say to put these items in the note directly because it will catch her off guard or he will would have a chance to look into it before confronting her. I do not believe a note stating "your wife is cheating on you" will work. Good luck.
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