A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've just opened a door that I'm not entirely sure I want to step through.To fully explain, it requires a bit of a back story, so... please bare with me.About a year ago, I dated a guy that I truly believed was "the one." We had so much in common, same goals, interests, values, etc. And our personalities complimented eachother perfectly. Never in my life had I ever felt so connected with someone, not even my best friend. We never fought, and our relationship felt so right. I was sure we'd eventualy get married. But then, about 7 months into our relationship, things got a little rocky. We were both having a bit of financial trouble, so we were working more, and seeing eachother a lot less. Also, it was around that time that his 2 year old son came to live with him (he was with his mother in another state before that) and I had a lot of trouble dealing with all the change. We started to grow apart... but I didn't think it was beyond repair. But then I discovered he had lied about some pretty serious stuff (he never cheated, but I think he had the intention) and it broke my heart. We talked things over, and he apologized and told me he wanted to work things out. So we had an awkward month where we were kinda together, kinda not together. I told him that even though I still loved him, I couldn't forgive him at that point. So we decided to go our seperate ways for a while and try to at least stay friends later.So the next few months went on, we didn't really talk at all, and we both dated other people. But the whole time, I still found myself missing him and what we had. I know it seems weird, but even after he betrayed me, I still felt like that connection was there, and that he was my best friend. God knows I've made my share of mistakes too.Yesterday, my most recent relationship of 2 months suddenly came to an end. It's not like I was in love with the guy, but it still kinda bummed me out. I don't have many close friends, and the people I do consider good friends don't live near me anymore. But I really wanted someone to talk and vent to, so I called up my ex, asking if he could meet with me to talk. (I didn't really give this too much thought, I just really wanted someone to talk to)He agreed, and we ended up talking for quite a while. It made me remember how good we were together, and suddenly I didn't even want to talk about this other guy I had been seeing. Inevitably, conversation turned to our relationship, and he said that he wants me in his life, even if it's just as a friend, but that he hopes we can give it another chance someday.Then when we left he wanted to make plans with me to go out next week.Now I'm wondering if this is a road I should even think about going down. Is it possible to have a successful friendship with an ex? Is it possible to rekindle a relationship that ended badly?Or is this just making room for more heartache?
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (10 June 2008):
 Is it possible to have a successful friendship with an ex? I think so, but only if none of you have any romantic/sexual interest at all.
Is it possible to rekindle a relationship that ended badly? Rarely. I had a similar thing, where lies were concerned, and personally, after we tried again, it ended even worse the next time. I never believed a word he said after that.
Or is this just making room for more heartache? Its likely you dont want to be single, so are going for the guaranteed reunion (the ex) as opose to being on your own for a while and waiting til you find mr right. Its always easy to remember the good times. It wouldn't be long before the reconsiliation buz subsides, and doubt starts to set in again.
I think the fact you're asking the questions on here probably indicate your instincts already know the answer, to atleast the last question anyway?
Good luck whatever you decide to do.
C xxxxx
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (10 June 2008):
 Hi,
The trouble is, that you will never know if you dont do it!
I think its very possible that you can be mates with an EX. My previous relationship ended very badly, my EX was a real bully to me at the time. Now almost 4 years have past, and we met up and we are actually friends. I can see how I fell for him in the first place, because he can be very charming. Would I ever go back with him though! No way. I am totally in love with my partner, and would never leave him, he treats me like a princess.
I think that its wrong to just go back because you have broken up with your current B/F. But there is nothing wrong with being mates with him. Who knows what will happen in the future?
Just take things slower this time. Be friends first and see how you feel.
XX Good luck
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