A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Every holiday I take with my boyfriend barely feels like a holiday for me. He always insists we get up very early and go do activities despite the fact that whilst on holiday I may like the occasional lie in or a relaxing day. I usually go along with whatever he wants to do, to keep the peace - and yes, for the most part I have a nice time. However, I can't help feeling exhausted near the end of every holiday because we have been on our feet for most of it.He justs makes such a big issue if I decline or stand my ground and say no that I give up trying!Even on sun holidays when there is nothing else to do (generally) but enjoy the sun, he makes sure we walk and walk and walk. I never get a chance to read or relax without him pestering me like a child would or making me feel guilty. The same goes for lie-in's, he makes a big deal if I coax him into staying in bed for an extra hour or two and I've given up trying to suggest to him that couples do actually occasionally have a half day in bed or more cuddling or etc!! Its a 'wasted day' in his mind because we weren't walking around some damn park or attraction. Its his birthday soon, so had both intended to take a week off work. I want him to enjoy his time off too, but I a worried this break will end up being another 'lets do what he wants' because its around the time of his birthday.Any advise would be fantastic!I have tried to do a bit of both - claim some 'me time' to relax and some time to do what he wants but if I take literally one day to myself or to unwind he makes such a fuss. I am made to feel so so guilty. I know I could holiday alone with others, and so on, but I would like to find some way to address this issue instead. Many many thanks
View related questions:
on holiday Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (26 August 2011):
 Have you tried a cruise? I've not had the pleasure myself, but have been told that these can be very relaxing holidays. At the start of your holiday, set the guidelines of what you want from the holiday, ask him what he wants, make an itinerary, eg. which mornings are sleep-ins for you, which aren't. Reading by the pool times etc. and put it to him that this is YOUR holiday as well as his. If this doesn't work, put it to him that you'll be holidaying without him in future.
A
female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (26 August 2011):
 I am afraid the only way to resolve this issue is to STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!!! Your relationship will always be one-way because you don't want to confront him..."keep the peace"... actually peace has a price! My suggestion is to split the week into 2 parts...one half is his agenda the other yours... you can do one day his and one yours... and be firm!!!! Being selfish is not living how you want to...its expecting others to live the way you want! Tell him you will not go unless he compromises... xx
...............................
|
