A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is it disloyal for my bf to go hang out and party with his ex wifes family where i am not welcome to go along? His ex is not in this picture. Or is ok for him to to maintain a relationship with these people? should i be ok with this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): Disloyal? NO! Why are you acting so bitter and stupid? I don't see the problem with him still visiting or hanging out with his "ex's" family.I'm still friends with all 3 of my "ex's" family and I still get invited to their functions and just hang out with them anyway. No, I do not invite my current girlfriend to any of these events, not because I don't want to, but because I don't think it's appropriate unless she is my wife.If he breaks up with you today....should he not call your parents to find out how they are doing? Should he not send your mother a birthday card on her birthday? Should he not help out your brother with a roof job or help your sister with her car trouble just because you two are no longer together? Should he not stop and talk to your young nephew when he sees him doing something inappropriate or wrong on the street? Stop trying to ruin your relationship with this man...open your eyes!
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (18 February 2008):
 Hi,
If you are not welcome along that is a bit rude, but in a way understandable. You are the new girl who replaced their sister and would be a reminder of a failed relationship.
And you can't force people to stop hanging out with their friends without garnering some resentment.
But on the flip side, you two are an item, he at least owes you some respect. I guess the key thing is how much time does he spend with these people. If it is just a couple of meetings in a year - a function or whatever - then you should just accept it. But if it is a regular thing and you are being excluded he should be sensitive to the fact that he is in a new relationship and should be devoting his time to his new family - not his old one.
good luck.
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