A
male
age
41-50,
*ig-b
writes:Ive beeen dating this girl for over a year and we talk about getting married.So its serious.I know I love her.But something bad happened and it really has hurt our relatoinship. The other night we was drinking with a few friends and she kissed a girl and did it behind my back untill I caught her.They touched each others breast and licked breast as well.A few weeks earlier they got naked and took a shower while we was drinking. I got really mad the first time it happened and she felt bad and said it would never happen again.I feel like I have been cheated on.She tells me that she was NOT drunk when she did all of this.She also tells me that she not bi-sexual.I am just hurt by all of this.She feels realy bad for what she did and tells me shes sorry and that she loves me. I want to forgive her and continue the relationship with one chance.Do I though? How can you trust someone after this? PLEASE people I need HELP!!!!
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male
reader, Big-b +, writes (3 September 2008):
Big-b is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell guys I want to say thanks for all the help.I am going to put want happened behind.I really she that she feels bad and is not pleased at all by her actions.She has cried many times knowing that she hurt me.Shes really a good girl and would never talk bad about her but I had to get more advice from you guys because I was so confused.shes tells me she has nothing for a girl.i didnt think she did but when this happened more the once I dont know waht to think.
She actually got upset when i asked her if she was bi or anything.I dont believe she is and I know she loves me.I know some people just think they are in love and get blinded but I just know we are.She does alot of little things to show it.
Well thanks to all that read my story.
A
female
reader, Ah-ha  +, writes (2 September 2008):
Hey there, If it really has made you feel that uncomfortable and you can't forgive her, just let her go. The resentment is only going to build otherwise and poison your relationship.-A
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A
male
reader, Big-b +, writes (2 September 2008):
Big-b is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI asked her if she is bi and she gets really mad.I don know if shes covering up from the truth.oh and the first time this happen (when they took a shower) my good friend saw her naked. and that hurts me.I forgave her only to believe she made a misstake and that she felt bad and would never do it again.I am so confused.
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A
female
reader, ItsEmma +, writes (2 September 2008):
 I'm going to have to disagree with the people below me and say that cheating is cheating, no matter what the gender. She could easily be lying about being bi to you. You should talk to her about it and tell her how much it hurt you. It's hard to give too much advice, because you're engaged. You say that you're really in love, too, so I wouldn't want to tear up a perfect couple. I just don't get why she would WANT to kiss a girl when she loves you and is thinking about getting married with you. /:
~Emma
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A
male
reader, Bomopu +, writes (2 September 2008):
If this was the first time, I would have agreed with Kayluh's advice but its not - she's done it before and 'promised' she wouldn't do it again and then done it again! This says to me that either she is bi and wants something that she can only get from other women or she is not as interested in you as she says she is. I think it is more probably the former.
It may be that she is bi and is scared to admit it because she doesn't want you to leave her or she is unsure of herself or confused. Either way I would suggest you talk to her and ask her what it is about being with other women that she enjoys. Is it a sexual thing that you could satisfy? Maybe she is unhappy about someother part of her life? If she can't explain it then I think you would have to accept that she is attracted to women to some extent. It doesn't mean that she doesn't love you so you need to decide if you can live with it. Maybe you could even use it to enhance your relationship? Finally, if you decide to stay together with her as she promises (again) that she won't do it again you must decide now what you will do if she does. Don't give her an ulitmatum - that's not a nice thing to do at all - but you will know how to react and not be so confused if it does happen. Just make sure you don't spend the rest of your life giving her chance after chance after chance.
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A
female
reader, Ah-ha +, writes (2 September 2008):
I'm sure she was just doing it for a laugh, and didn't realise it would hurt you so much. It was just fun, messing about, nothing serious. She probably thought you'd think it was funny or hot or something.Let her know how you feel, forgive her and move on.If she really feels bad, I'm sure she's got the message you are not ok with it and won't be messing around with girls again.Don't worry man, you're her number 1,-A
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