A
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: This is pretty humiliating but i'd like to know peoples opinions.Me and a guy i was seeing were having sex then (without asking) he starts taking pictures of me! I was lying on the bed and he was standing and just started taking pictures while he was having sex with me. I made him delete them and he's never done that before with me. We're not in a relationship just a "casual" thing. I've been intimate with him for a while but now this has freaked me out. I ended it. This was too much for me. I've never done the "casual" thing before and this has made me think twice about trusting a guy. I've only ever been with 2 guys and I'm 24 so please don't call me a "whore" etc because I'm really not. I actually liked this guy but now I think he's a sleaze.Do a lot of guys take pictures of girls like that? Why would he do that? Reply to this Question Share |
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female
reader, Dreamer7097 +, writes (6 October 2011):
I think it's dis respectful and degrading what he is doing! Do not put up with this behaviour! It's perverted -it's a good job you make him delete them because what would he be doing with them?! It seems like he's being watching too much porn!.., it's a shame if you really liked him,but why don't you just ask him why he did it?! see what he says and take it from there...some men have weird fetishes,it's if you can cope with it
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2011): I once read a real-life story about a girl who met a guy had sex with him and while she was asleep, he took pictures of her on HER mobile and sent it to everyone in her phone contacts including work colleagues. I'm glad you were awake when this happened!
An ex I was involved with wanted to take pics of me in a dress I was wearing but I refused because I didn't know where this pic might end up. My current boyfriend has told me he wouldn't want pics of me on his phone because he can't be sure WHO might see them.
You did the right thing by showing this sleaze-ball the door.
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A
female
reader, KittieS +, writes (6 October 2011):
Totally unacceptable no doubt about it! How dare he just grab a camera, that's a complete no no and he'd be shown the door (after being 1000% sure he had deleted them) it's even worse that tour in a casual relationship.
Some couples do decide to take sexy photos of each other, I think men sometimes like to have photos to masturbate too rather than using porn of other people. However, it should be 100% a joint decision and would suggest once in a very committed long term relationship where you trust each other completely!
Personally the idea completely freaks me out, as you never know where they could end up if you end your relationship.
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A
male
reader, idoneitagain +, writes (6 October 2011):
To take photographs of you naked or engaging in a sexual act without your conset is at best unacceptable and at worst illegal. It is totally inappropriate behaviour unless it is agreed to, in your case you were totally unaware and it is a violation of your trust. Probably a good decision to dump him.
As to whether it is common or not, and why he would want to do it, I would say it is not that uncommon. I wouldn't say the majority of people want to do it, but it is not uncommon. People do it for different reasons, some like the idea of having sex recorded like a kind of trophy, but many want to post it on the internet, either so their friends can see it or they post it anonymously. You are lucky in this case they are deleted, but if anyone tries that again I would recommend you stop immidiately whatever it is you are doing and have the recording device removed.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (6 October 2011):
No, not normal and I've had my fair share of casual relationships. Not one of them have ever busted out a camera and started taking photos while in the moment.
That's weird and totally creepy! Good for you for making him delete them and telling him to take a hike...he's a strange one for sure.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 October 2011):
To be honest, this is a bit sleazy. I don't think that many men in committed relationships would do this kind of thing, let alone some casual fling.
I think you did the right thing by making him delete them, and also by ending it. Those photos would most likely have wound up with his friends or over the internet.
Seems like he's been watching too much porn.
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (6 October 2011):
I would never just start taking pictures of someone like that. There is a huge risk having those pictures in any form.
I would be for it if she wanted to take sexy pictures but I would never ask or want nude pictures to be taken. That is something that should be kept as mental images not physical ones. I am questioning what he planned to do with those if he had kept them. The thing that comes to my mind is blackmail or just to put them online although he may just have wanted them for himself but that doesn't mean they won't fall into the wrong hands.
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