A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating someone for 6 months now. And he definately makes it clear that I am not his girlfriend,he says we shouldnt rush into things. But says if I see anyone else then its over. I just wonder if I should give it more time. And now there is a nice man that seems to have his act together that is interested in me. I hate to pass up someone else that may be boyfriend material. If i go out with him am I cheating? He says he's not seeing anyone else. Should I let him know before I do it? I'm interested in getting to know this other guy. Thank you for your advice. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): Yes, go out with the new man you're interested in! If your current 'boyfriend' tells you that he doesn't consider that you are his girlfriend then how can you be cheating on him? Besides, if you go out with the new man you have met, you could initially consider it as meeting a new 'friend' ... you will soon know if you want your new 'friend' to be your new 'boyfriend'! It sounds as if your current 'boyfriend' is more interested in exercising a sense of 'control' over you by threatening to leave you if you cheat on hime, and yet he doesn't respect your feelings by saying that you are not really his girlfriend. If you don't take the opportunity to get to know the new man a bit better, you will never know what you may have lost. I don't know how easily your current 'boyfriend' might discover if you date the new man, but if I were you I would date the new man and keep it to yourself for the time being. I'm not suggesting that people should 'cheat' unscrupulously, but sometimes being 'economical' with the truth is the best policy. Good luck - I hope you find Mr Right.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): After six months you are not his girlfriend yet? So he is not sure if he wants to be in a relationship with you? But he does not want you to meet and go out with other people? I think that is very selfish. Why do you allow him to control your life like that? You are giving him your power.
I would go out with the other guy and get to know him better. If you are not in a relationship there is not reason why you should not.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): I would 1st tell you current 'guy'(not boy) friend since he doesn't consider you his 'girlfriend' about this.
Since he's given you no reason to believe you have a future with him (6 months is long enough to know), it would be selfish (and controlling) of him to not agree it's o.k.
Hope you have a good time with him!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): This is a tricky one. Firstly, they guy you're dating is being very unfair, he won't committ or call what you have a proper relationship but he wants it to be exclusive. Although this does suggest he likes you a lot, it could be just a power game. You need to make it clear you need a clear cut answer from the guy your seeing atm.
Secondly, there is no reason you can't be friends with and get to know this new guy better and if your not-boyfriend has a problem with this then maybe its time to get out of the potential for a possessive relationship.
Hope this helps.
...............................
|
