A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I was in a relationship with this guy. He though seemed to hate himself quite a bit and was really down and depressed. He would tell me about how happy he was to be with me but it got scary because he kept putting me on this pedastal acting like I was some type of perfect person that would be there to bring him up. I tried to explain that I wasn't and I had problems too. In fact I also was trying to get over depression I had for awhile and him putting himself down made me feel bad too. He would tell me things like he does not deserve me and that he was an ass. He even told me once that if I got mad he said I could hit me it I wanted to, I told him I never would want to do that to him. Hearing him say these things really upset me and I started to put myself down also and in turn he would get upset saying I was making him more depressed. It went like this for a while until one day last week he pretend to kill himself I think as a joke. It brought back some bad memories though and it really upset me. I wanted to tell him to stop it but I was so upset that I said I wished I was dead. He said in turn that he would be happy if I died. Then he told me if was a joke but I told him it was not funny at all. He got upset and told me he was leaving. So he left me. Right now I am wondering if it is better like this but at the same time I miss him. I am not sure of what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for responding. I have not contacted him but I am beginning to think there is something wrong with me because I still cant get over him.
A
female
reader, Duckyhelp  +, writes (30 May 2011):
 I think as he has brought you down, and made you feel unworthy of anything it seems. But in my eyes this is a blessing in disguise as you can now move on and improve on yourself. Like you said, you have your own problems and that you were dealing with them and getting better with yourself which is most important. I think you should try as hard as possible to not contact him and concentrate on yourself and to get through the things in your life. If their is other important people in your life then i suggest speaking to them more and building your bonds stronger with them. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2011): This sounds more like a co-dependency than a true relationship. For a real relationship to work, it can't be that you "need" each other to function. A healthy relationship involves two people that complement each other, bring out the BEST in each other, not the worst. You are far better off leaving this situation alone. It's normal to miss someone, but you should focus on keeping your own emotional self healthy!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2011): The guy was a jerk and messing with your head for kicks. Whenever someone tells you they aren't good enough or don't deserve you...just know it means they don't plan on sticking around because they don't like you enough to.
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