A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have just come out of a rocky patch in our relationship. We have been in an LDR for about a month. A few weeks ago, he told me about how a girl he had taken a class with started talking to him after ignoring him all year. I didn't think anything of it at the time.Later I asked him about her and if they had spoken again. He seemed very reluctant to tell me but he eventually admitted that he had emailed her. I asked what the email contained and he told me that he asked about her summer plans and told her that it was nice to meet her. He called me today and said he had a confession. He said that the girl had asked him to lunch and he agreed. I don't know what to make of this situation because in the past, whenever I am away, my boyfriend feels lonely. Out of this loneliness he becomes destructive to our relationship by seeking out other women through dating sites and chat rooms. He never has physical contact with them but he texts them and talks to them on the phone. We have moved on from that point in our relationship and we are rebuilding the trust that has been broken. But the scars from the past still hurt and I do not know how I should feel about this woman. My boyfriend has a very flirty personality and I've seen how he used to talk to women when I'm not around but he claims to have changed. I mean, in the past he wouldn't have even told me about meeting her. So he's definitely changing for the better.Thoughts?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2011): If I were you I would casually mention a guy that you're assigned to sit next to in one of your classes and how he's very friendly and you guys are going to go on a study date because he's so friggin smart and he can help you with the topic.
Idk enough about your relationship but depending on how things are maybe you could mention that he's cute and that he really seems to like you or something. I think that knowing what it feels like to be an afterthought would be a good lesson for him.
A
female
reader, kylieekristina  +, writes (3 June 2011):
 ooooo well, yeah its good that he is being open and honest with you, but is he telling you the whole truth? He already has only told you a little at a time. Who's fault is it that the relationship is LDR? Is this his way of telling you you may loose him? I think with his past screw ups he shouldn't be going out to lunch with any woman he finds attractive, its just not right. Lets be honest, why is he going?
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