A
female
age
30-35,
*ovesickpup
writes:hi there, as you know i asked previously that i would like to have a baby with my new boyfriend and i am considering it as we are getting our own house and ive got my driving test at the end of the month and my boyfiend earns alot as he works two jobs so i wondered whether that this would be a better situation for me to bring a child into the world i would love it more than anything on this planet and i would do anything for it it woul dnever go with out so i just wante people advice on thislovesickpup x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008): The moderators have actually misquoted you in the title of this question (I notice they have done this quite a few times lately!)
You are not asking if you should pass you test before having a baby, as you have got your test at the end of this month!
What you seem to be asking is whether people here think you are now in a better situation to have a baby than in your previous message some time ago.
I would say that only you and your boyfriend can really decide this! if it is something that both of you want then you will make it work, most people do!
Also, when you pass your test, which you will be doing shortly, then you will have new sense of freedom and will be able to get around a lot easier by yourself.
I say go for it and good luck! x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): hm..key emphasis NEW boyfriend? and you're just moving with hm? I think you would be a lot better if you considered living the life as a girlfriend with her boyfriend in the same house. Before taking a HUGE step of having a baby. You're not even married yet... (which isn't that huge, who says you have to be married) anywho.......you should probably want to know how to drive..
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (8 January 2008):
 The only thing that worries m about your post is that ure moving in with your boyfriend. Living with someone can be hugely stressful and very different to just seeing someone. I say give it a year of living together first just to check you're meant to be. During tht time open a bank account for the baby and save whatever you can. That way you'll be in the best possible position when the baby does come and it will come, you just need to wait a little longer first. Trust me, when you get your baby you'll be glad you waited until the right time to have that particular child!
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A
female
reader, Dawnie +, writes (8 January 2008):
 You would be better giving your relationship time before considering having a child.Your still young so there's no rush. There is no set limit on how long you should be with someone before having a child, you could be with someone for years and have a child, the relationship could still end, however getting to know each other, saving money, building a home together and take some holidays (just the two of you) would be good. As for passing your driving test, yes that would be a good idea, but its not the end of the world if you don't. I passed my driving test 5 years ago, at the time my children were 8 and 3. I know you say your bf earns good money but if you had a child now, he would not be around much to help, not if he has 2 jobs and that then puts pressure on you. Look forward to the future and by all means make plans. Have fun.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (8 January 2008):
 You say he's a NEW boyfriend and you are already thinking of having a child with him?! Slow down, you need to see how your relationship develops before you bring another person into the world! You have lots of time so what's the rush? Babies deserved to be born into a stable environment, not one that is just starting up. You must think of the baby's best interests before your own. Relax and enjoy your new boyfriend, PLANNING for the future is tons of fun.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (8 January 2008):
 You sound like you will make a brilliant mother, but judging by your age group don't you think you should wait a few years. I become a mother at the age of 20, my children are 19 and nearly 18 and I am very proud of them indeed. My son is at college studying Media and my daughter is training too be a Hairdresser, soon I am going to be a grandmother at the tender age of 40 (that was a huge shock to me I can tell you lol). Babies are very hard demanding as they need constant attention and I am sure you will give him/her anything they need materially. But the greatest gift you can give a child is unconditional love. Firstly my love buy your house,make sure you can give the child a stable home and also get yourself established in a career too, cos babies do not come cheap and as they get older its "Mummy I want this Daddy I want that". Also you will be almost giving up your social life, so unless you have a family or friends to be a babysitter when required, you and your young man can not go out spontaniously as you guys do now. Anyway having put in my two penneth worth think about what I am advising you my love ok? Good luck on the future and let me know what you guys have decided. Dusky xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): You should have a driver's license, be married and have been with this guy for more than 3 years before considering having a baby. And are you sure he's going to want to work 2 jobs for the rest of his life? Does he want this baby or are you trying to trick him?
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (8 January 2008):
 It probably would be best to pass your driving test but dont start trying to have a baby to soon give yourself about a year of living together before trying to conceive then you will know if he is the right guy to have a child with.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (8 January 2008):
 A big part of being a Mom is running a household and getting supplies, so Yes, it would be a very good idea to have your Driver's License. It's usually up to the Mom to drive children to all of their activities as well. Even if he might have to share his car, he will appreciate it in the future when he doesn't have to do all of these chores by himself.
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