A
female
age
41-50,
*ab455
writes:I posted a previous question on 8/19/2008 about me going out with a 40 yr old guy I am 29yrs old...we went out for 1.5 years and then we broke up he went back to his ex. He actually said he was confused about what he wanted and that he did not want any commitment well about 3 weeks ago him and I got into a fight and I walked away and haven't called him anymore or seen him. We broke up in May and in June this fiasco started...he was trying to decide what to do and who he really wanted to be with as long as I was around a lot of the time went to me but I do not like those type of situations....so I walked away. Since that time I have been in contact with his mom and sister various times. This ex of his is kind of crazy and aggressive and they can't explain why he would go back to her after all the harm she has caused. His son has been visiting him for a month and in the past week he has been staying with her and leaving his son with the grandmother who is also here visiting. This weekend his GM left and my ex didn't even have the courtesy to see her before she left also he has his son at his siters house for the weekend. His son leaves on sept 2,2008.His sister can't explain it. The family doesn't get along with her because she tried to get him in trouble various times for no reason,, burned his bed, cut up his clothes...gets crazy and disrespectful and is mean to his son. This is a woman that he swore he would never fall into her trap again. In their previous relationship she had 2 abortions and now he says he knows that she is trying to get pregnant to keep him around. Some people say this is a midlife,his sister says maybe he really is in love why else would he be doing this, some people say maybe he is depressed...i do not know what to think and need some outside help. People are saying you know he will be back...you know you and him had a good relationship. we did have our problems as when a situation arose I didn't know when to stop nagging him. Why would a man go back to that? Why would he leave everything for her? Some people say maybe he is hiding out from real life...I am not sure as i never expected him to go back. Most of the time they are spending it locked in her apt. I am sure they go to dinner but it just seems kind of strange. I still am in love with him but I am really not sure what is going on...PLEASE HELP
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abortion, broke up, depressed, grandmother, his ex, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (25 August 2008):
 Most likely you were his midlife crisis.
Man leaves his wife for a younger woman... can it get any more classic?
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (25 August 2008):
 Sounds like as painful as it might be, you ae well out of it! Lots of drama, and the guy is 40? Alarm bells always right with me when blokes of 40+ end up dating 20 something girls. Not saying you're immature, just makes me wonder what someone of 40 would have in common with someone in their twenties.Unless they were reliving their youth, having a midlife crisis, or unable to sustain relationships with women their own age. Most people in their 20's have a lot of living to do, and quite rightly so. Someone in their 40's should of grown up by now. But it doesn't sound like he is used to grown up relationships?
She has children with him, yes, but its a dyfunctional relationship, yet he goes back to it?
What does that tell you about the guy?
As i said, i cant help thinking you are better off out of this, and probably had a lucky escape!
C xxxxx
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