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Is it bad if I don't want to take my boyfriend to Homecoming?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 September 2011) 7 Answers - (Newest, 27 September 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My friends say I'm being insensitive if I say I don't want my boyfriend to come to my homecoming dance with me but I just really want to go alone and enjoy it with my girls. Is this really that bad?

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (27 September 2011):

tennisstar88 agony auntNot to mention, they put an age restriction on dances. They have to be a high school graduate age 20 or under. At least that was the restriction when I was back in high school..could've changed now.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (26 September 2011):

Ciar agony auntNo, it isn't bad at all, but it does go against the grain. Many people are probably of like mind, but feel duty bound to stick to tradition. It's great that you don't.

Unfortunately, Odds is right. While your boyfriend might not want to go himself, he may be suspicious of your desire to go without him. Unless they're off fishing, hunting or watching/participating in sports, 'out with the guys' often means out looking for women. They naturally assume women do the same when they're out with the girls. That and many men seem to think they are, or ought to be, the centre of a woman's universe and therefore can't comprehend why women would not want to spend all of their available time with them.

There is nothing wrong with wanting some free time with the girls. Spend your homecoming the way YOU want to, but don't be surprised if you're boyfriend gets uptight about not being invited.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2011):

My boyfriend graduated high school 2 years ago but he hates missing out on anything to do with me but I'm sure he'll understand. I just don't wanna seem like a bad girlfriend and no, none of my friends have dates which is why we wanted to make it a girls night out. Thanks you guys.

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (26 September 2011):

Odds agony auntI suspect he'll be of two minds about this - on the one hand, not really enthusiastic about homecoming; on the other hand, really reluctant to watch you go to a traditionally romantic/hookup kind of event without him. Besides, "I just want to be with my girls" is the sort of line that immediately sets off a guys potential-cheater detector (not saying you're going to cheat, but that it's a perception you might create).

There's no way I could say which feeling will be stronger, since I don't know the guy. I'd talk to him about it now, get a feel for what he thinks, and talk him through it. It'll be best long-term if you talk to him now and work it out ahead of time rather than just dropping it on him later.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (26 September 2011):

tennisstar88 agony auntReally? Guys don't really care to go to homecoming!!

Homecoming/prom/formal dances is really a girl thing that guys get forced to go to. Guys don't find much enjoyment dressing up in a tux, with their moms fretting over their hair, and taking a million pictures.

I'm sure if you explain to him you want to go with your friends that he won't at all be hurt over it.

Have fun!

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A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (26 September 2011):

Denise32 agony auntI can't see that it would be. I mean, if this is an event you just want to enjoy with your friends - provided it's not that you don't want him to go because you are either losing interest, or have some sort of issue with the man, that is.

Has he expressed a strong wish to go to your homecoming dance with you? If not, I wouldn't pay too much attention to what your friends say. After all, it's your choice.

Have fun!

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (26 September 2011):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntIs "everybody" going to be paired-up at the dance?

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